little johnny

the main character in many jokes, he’s often misshearing words and telling them to others in distasteful ways. known for giving his teachers terrible times, as he uses foul language, and makes s-xual references. he often walks in on his parents in bed, or discovers his mother with the milkman. an all around b-st-rd of a child.

sometimes the jokes are twisted to feature little susie, or sally, depending on the narrator. she’s usually just as bad.
esther cohen was testing her 2nd grade cl-ss’s imagination. she put her hand in a box, removed something without the cl-ss seeing what it was, put her hand behind and asked “cl-ss i am holding something in my hand, its round, red and is edible, what is it?

several hands went up.

esther said, “yes robert”.

robert, “is it an apple?”

esther replied, “no robert. who else can try?”

peter called out, “it’s an orange.”

the young teacher said, “no.”

james shouted, “it’s a tomato!”

“very good james, that’s correct,” the teacher answered.

little johnny’s hand shot up as he said “miss cohen, i also want to test the cl-ss’s imagination.”

esther, reluctant to call on johnny due to his propensity to use foul language, said “okay, go ahead”.

johnny putting his hand in his trousers pocket says, “i am holding something in my hand, its three inches long and has a head, what is it?”

the cl-ss was quiet and no one had their hand up. the teacher thought quickly and said in a disgusted voice, “johnny sit down and keep quiet. i don’t want any of your silly jokes.”

johnny, smiling removes his hand from his pocket and says, “it’s a match stick, miss cohen. you have a lot of imagination.”
the protagonist of many jokes who can get away with anything.
the teacher asked the cl-ss if they could use the word “contagious” in a sentance. little johnny raised his hand and said “last week when we had the snowstorm, my father took the snowblower and blew all the snow into my neighbor’s driveway. he then came back in the house laughing, saying it will take that contagious to shovel up that mess.”
that’s the name of the famous circus chimp adopted by a mormon family and legally adopted as a family member in 1962 after he was left behind in salt lake city as the barnum and bailey train headed west following their local appearance.

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examples:

“little johnny, quit sh-ttin’ bananas on the couch, dammit!”
“get your fingers outta yer -ss, little johnny. don’t go h-m- on me now!”
“behave, little johnny, or gladys will make me get rid of you.”
“i warned you not to be drinkin’ out of my toilet, little johnny.”
“bye-bye. good bye, little johnny. i loved you for awhile.
a real son of a b-tch. can also be called a b-st-rd.
little johnny is a real son of a b-tch
another name for p-n-s
girl 1: how’s greg?
girl 2: i found out he has a big little johnny.