Longwood University

since everyone who has written a definintion thus far has decided to dedicate that definition to bashing longwood or surrounding colleges, here are some actual facts (all obtained from the longwood university website):

quick info

a public, coeducational university with over 100 majors, minors, and concentrations in the arts and sciences, business, and education. graduate programs in business, education, english, sociology, and environmental studies.

students

longwood’s 4,500 students (3,800 undergraduates) come from over 25 states and foreign countries.

35% male

11% minority

990 freshmen

campus

residential 60-acre campus. approximately 70 percent of undergraduates live in university-sponsored housing. mix of red-brick colonial revival in the style of thomas jefferson and contemporary architecture.

cl-ss size

the average cl-ss has 26 students. one-quarter of all cl-sses have 10 or fewer students.

students/faculty ratio: 19:1.

full-time faculty with terminal degrees: 80%.

retention rate: approximately 80% of freshmen continue to soph-m-re year.

graduation rate: 60% (within 5 years).

computer resources

fully networked campus. full access to the internet from all campus buildings and each residence hall room.

other facilities and resources

health and physical education complex with pool, dance studio, human performance lab and a 3,000-seat gymnasium; eight tennis courts; and a nine-hole golf course.

a health and fitness center offers a rock climbing wall, track, courts and the newest weight machines.

special programs

cooperative programs in engineering with the university of virginia, virginia tech, virginia commonwealth university, old dominion university, christopher newport university, georgia inst-tute of technology, and the university of tennessee.

a pre-professional program in the medical sciences prepares students for admission to schools of medicine, dentistry, veterinary medicine, medical technology, dental hygiene, physical therapy, occupational therapy, and pharmacy.

a world of study abroad opportunities

northern territory university in australia; university of teeside in middlesborough, england; university of bond, australia; university of limerick, ireland; school for international training, belize; mary immaculate college, ireland; university college, london; inst-tute for american studies, avignon, france; university of derby, england; inst-tute of spanish studies, valencia, spain; anhui , anhui, china.

getting in
admission decisions are compet-tive and based on your academic performance in high school, grade-point-average, types of courses, cl-ss standing, and sat or act scores. the admissions committee will also review additional information you submit in support of your application. primary emphasis, however, will be placed on your academic credentials. the average gpa for freshmen entering in the fall of 2006 was a 3.3 and the sat mid-range was between 1010-1200.

prominent longwood alums (from the past 25 years only)
aimee alexander, ’01
pharmaceutical sales representative for abbott laboratories

erin sims anderson, ’98
senior human resource general manager at the virginia state corporation commission

thomas dewitt, ’80
president and ceo of snvc, l.c.

ransford doherty, ’93
actor (movies and tv-shows)
view his filmography

kimberly sterling green, ’96
national program manager for lighting and fireplaces for ferguson enterprises

faith clamp halterman, ’97
systems engineer with bae systems

harold hatchett, ’83
vice president for investor relations north american for sh-ll oil company

j. paul hurt, ’89
agency director for metlife financial services

blair lockamy, ’00
human performance -n-lyst for accenture

dr. kenneth marcus, ’82
professor of chemistry at clemson university

ricky otey, ’89
director of consumer banking for wachovia and member of the longwood university board of visitors

col. richard jay poole, ’82
cdr. of the 203rd support battalion

arjun rishi, ’87
president of enterprise bleu

gary slack, ’84
senior vice president – finance and cfo for bae systems north america

charles thornton, ’92, and robert kenny, ’88
co owners of hometown heroes sports pub

john todd, ’83
managing partner and ceo of apex partners

jill younce, ’00
inspector with the u. s. postal service

$30,000/year? i think not.

there are some fact about longwood. so longwood isn’t princeton, ok? no one ever claimed it was. so we don’t pay a billion dollars a year to go to school – that doesn’t make us stupid or not academically driven. it means that everyone deserves an education and not everyones mommy and daddy can afford to sh-ll out. you can get a good education at longwood. but how much money you will make in the future is only a reflection of how hard you are willing to work to make that happen – not a reflection of longwood. there are a million opprotunities here and some students are here to work hard and get a good education at an old and respected inst-tution – not to “get w-sssted!” or sleep with “richie-rich” hsc boys. as with any college or university, your longwood experience is what you make it.
if you want more info about longwood, go to: www.longwood.edu.
wow, i am really glad i chose to go to longwood university!
lancers-87
tigers-71

hampden sucks
sydney blows
and the hsc gentleman is the one take in the -ss all night long

longwood university
longwood university is generally good school overall. there are many very nice people who go there, and many of them are very intellegient. their professors often provide challenging and thought-provoking material in their cl-sses, and many students work very hard to achieve good grades at longwood. in fact, longwood is probably the best place to be if you want to be a teacher. however, longwood contains a huge inferiority complex concerning hampden-sydney. this complex is not necessarily an academic one shared by all students; rather, it is one harbored by a large number of the males who attend longwood. longwood men constantly struggle to -ssert their superiority to hampden-sydney men, but every weekend scores of their longwood women flock to hampden-sydney, leaving the men of longwood confused and angry. many longwood men attempt to convince themselves that these are only naive young ladies, who are unaware of the dangers of the hampden-sydney men, when in fact women from every cl-ss at longwood continue to visit hampden-sydney. it seems that the men of longwood are so inept that longwood women are willing risk the dangers of hamdpen-sydney. additionaly, while many of these visits have drinking and one-night stands as their primary goals, there are also many girls who do not partic-p-te in this lifestyle. they simply appreciate the company of the hampden-sydney man. though many, including many students at hampden-sydney, believe that the hsc man’s trademark is the bowtie or pink polo shirt, the real trademark of a hampden-sydney man is southern hospitality, something most longwood men know nothing about.
jeff: man, those hampden-sydney guys sure are lame. they think they are so awesome with their brilliant professors and beautiful campus…
matt: yeah. they are lame. they go to an all male school; that means they must be gay or something, right jim?
jim: i didn’t go there because i didn’t get in.
jeff and matt: me too.
a place where wanna-be ladies go in order to scr-pe by with a mediocre education and a sub-par understanding of the material they tried for 4 years to learn.

once an all women’s college, it went coed and since then has lowered it’s standards for overall student body quality, allowing common streetwalkers and sl-t to attend.

the “ladies” that go here are typically ugly, and more times than not socially inappropriate. they drunkenly stumble to the near-by hampden-sydney college to try and hit on the gentlemen there. unless extremely drunk and desperate, the gentlemen that attend the fine inst-tution will ignore them.

known for their open legs and easiness, longwood sl-ts are a prime target if you’d like to catch an std or stalker. these girls will follow you around the frats, text you continuously, and drink your alcohol, all in hopes of possibly getting to suck a guy’s d-ck.

jealous of the true ladies that attend sweet briar college, longwood sl-ts dress up in either one of two ways:
– in fake pearls, knockoff designer clothing, ae or hollister (any fake preppy brand, really), too much make up
– in anything that reveals their b–bs, -ss, and stomach.

instead of the cl-ssy real pearls, lilly pulitzer, ralph lauren, or lacoste.

overall, the girls that attend this university are ones to be avoided.
“see that sl-t following that gentleman? that’s a longwood university girl.”

“last night i got so drunk i just had to f-ck something, good thing there was a longwood sl-t there.”

“you know that girl? becki? total longwood sl-t.”
longwood university – a place of poor heritage, where things were great until they went coed. when the sketch longwood guys showed up, things went to h-ll. they cling to a hope that they could one day be on a level with hsc, their crosstown rivals, but as their d1 basketball team loses to hsc’s d3 team, they realize that there is no way that they will ever be equal to the miracle that is sydney. in fact, they may even come to realize that they will never be equal to even southside community college.

so, bongwood, keep your sketchy guys and your desperate women, and leave well enough alone, or hsc might come up rt15 and kick your -ss yet again.
lu guy : i don’t wanna go to hsc… i might get hurt!

hsc guy: d-mn straight. keep your strange -ss over with your strange friends and watch your hentai. i promise i’ll give you a job some day.

lu girl – d-mn that boy is fine… i wish i could get a guy like that.

hsc guy – in your dreams, gold-digger.