Lunk Alarm
something made up by the insecure people who run planet fitness (planet fatness) gyms. they set it off when anyone remotely dedicated to training is in the area. they claim to be a “judgement-free” gym, yet ironically they won’t even let those who they deem “lunks” into their facility. the people don’t want to “be intimidated” by fit gym goers, yet the only thing intimidating them is their own insecurities.
planet fatness worker: he looks like he might actually be strong and dedicated to his training…what a lunk! set off the lunk alarm!
planet fitness’s 110db deafening tornado siren. an employee sets it off when they hear weights drop or someone tattles on another member for using a cell phone in the gym area.
the offender is not singled out (and may not even know it’s sounding for them).
other innocent members get blasted with the ear piercing siren, which is above the osha sound level limits. the only effect of the lunk alarm is to damage members’ ears (the employees at the trigger switch are far away from the sound).
lunk alarm, siren, osha
planet fitness, the home of the self-conscious exerciser, decided to get rid of the meatheads and attention seeking guidos by hooking up an alarm system for vain b-tches who find it impossible to work out without the attention of everyone else in the room.
“how’s i s’posed ta get my swell on at da gym widda fuhckin lunk alarm goin off e’ry time i grunt”
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