lying

what your girlfriend thinks your constantly doing.
gf:”where’d you go last night?”
bf:”i went to the movies with some friends.”
gf:”your lying to me!” (cries)
a master degree in communication sciences only for women, while men can’t lie.
woman: you are the most handsome man i ever knew.
man: …

woman: where were you?
man: with friends, as usual.
woman: you are lying.
the ability to use the least amount of information (from the given truth), bend it to your will, add some bullsh-t to it, and add a dash of charm/reality-distortion field, while slowly changing the topic
mom: did you clean your room
son: yes i did, and it looks beautiful, as do you, can i have some dinner now

(while lying to his mom
in reality, all the son did was clean the visible part of the room that his mom could see, and quickly changed the topic)
making sh-t up
mike: that gonzo… he’s always lying!
something that n-body admits to doing, but something everybody does. except me, of course.
want to see somebody that mastered the art of lying? just see our current president.
an art that is very hard to master and dangerous to fail at.
lying is good for dealing with authority figures.

for example:

boss: joe! did you get that report finished?

joe: yes, i’ll have it on your desk by lunch.

where joe hasn’t got the report finished.
is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off.
lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off – panic! at the disco:
so testosterone boys and harlequin girls, will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?