macaroni monster
descriptive term for any fat b-st-rd who puts on a football uniform and calls himself an athlete. most often, it’s a linebacker who weighs over 300 pounds and has tree trunks for legs, an -ss so large it deserves its own zip code, and a gut that hangs down so far that he can’t see his junk. without the uniform, he’d look like a beer-guzzling hot-dog noshing lard-ss fan. but, put a number on his back, some padding, and helmet and he gets paid millions of dollars to stand in middle of a football field and push other macaroni monsters.
examples: william “the refrigerator” perry, aaron gibson, terrance “pot roast” knighton
“dude! didja see that. holy cr-p! that macaroni monster just sacked the quarterback.”
“yeah man. he’s such a macaroni monster he needs three other dudes to help him up.”
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