machete

a knife with a handle longer than most blades, and a thin, long, staight-edged blade. used for hacking away at foliage in front of the weilder.
h-llo, my name is jason vorhees, i wear a hockey mask, and i am a machete-killer addict
10 more definitions
spanish word for f-cking big -ss knife
dude isnt that f-cking big -ss knife you have a machete
a long knife, used for hacking your way through the jungle. also the most awesome zombie killing tool ever.
sh-t, theres zombies outside. wheres my machete
machete is the most bad -ss movie ever created. it is about machete, and ex-federale who is a legend to all mexican-americans, being betrayed by a company who hired him off of the street to -ss-ssinate senator john mclaughlin. all out war is declared and machete’s mexican-american army kick some f-cking b-lls off. also includes lyndsay lohan’s t-ts.
guy 1-dude! did you see machete?

guy 2- h-ll ya! i jerked off so hard to lindsay lohan’s t-ts!
something you pull on 10 guys wanting to jump you in the parking lot of a bp. usually with an 18 inch blade and a thick hard plastic handle.
-van pulls up and a gaggle of people jump out-
jesse: are you the f-ckers i am supposed to whip the sh-t out of?
me: hey! f-ck you guys you are bringing 10 guys?!!? well, this makes it even jesse, me, and this machete
-van pulls away with quite a quickness-
a chunk of sharp metal fitted with a handle that would cause any poor b-st-rd a world of pain
did you know jason has a machete
when a man is about to -j-c-l-t-, he pulls out of her -n-s and in a chopping motion slaps the girl in the face as he is ejaculating.
hey dude, i got p-ssed off at your mom yesterday so i went ahead and gave her a machete.