mactard

an apple computer user who takes any opportunity to advertise to the world they are ‘better’ than everyone else because they use a mac, even if this statement has nothing to do with the current conversation.
user 1> does anyone know why my p4 is having heat issues when i use (program)?
mactard> haha use a mac!! my mac is better than you’re pc anyday! i am so cool because i have an ipod!
user 1> anyone else? anyone who isn’t a mactard?
mactard; as in ‘r-t-rd’

a computer user with 3 fingers and a thumb stuck up their -rs-, and therefore only needing one b-tton on the mouse.
frank: “i can’t cope with all these b-ttons on yer mouse”
steve: “well pull the rest of yer fingers out ‘yer -rs- you f-ckin’ mactard”
mactards are people who fall prey to apple’s advertis-m-nts, failing to see they are the victims of ploys to get them to pay for a logo rather than superior products.
you might be a mactard if…

1.) you bought a mac to be different, just like everyone else buying a mac.

2.) you believe the half truths of apple’s advertis-m-nts.

3.) you believe some one else who believes the half truths of apple’s advertis-m-nts.

4.) you think the ipad is a “magical and revolutionary” device when in fact such devices have been around for years.

5.) you think the price of an ipad is unbelievable because it is low rather than ridiculously high.

6.) if you think clicking the right mouse is hard, but using esoteric key combinations to get the same behaviors out of a one b-tton mouse is some how easier.

7.) you prefer form over function, bought a mac and got neither.

8.) you switched to a mac because you thought windows was proprietary…

9.) you feel penalized because most apps won’t run on your mac after you bought a mac with full knowledge that most apps won’t run on a mac.

10.) you insist on using safari because it is “secure”, in spite of the fact it has been shown to be the most insecure browser on a mac. (apple is learning from microsoft on how to make in house browsers…)

and one to grow on:

11.) you have to think of a way to justify any of the aforementioned ways to know you are a mactard.
a mac user who has no understanding of computer hardware, engineering or what makes computers fast, and thinks their mac is the best computer ever because it has a finely polished gui.

mactard:my mac is soo fast because it uses all of its resources to render the shadows on my window b-ttons.

listener: wow. you are mactard.
mac users who think they are better than people who use pcs, and think they know everything about macs, but in reality don’t know much about anything and just like feeling superior to others.

windows user in mac lab: “dude, this is so annoying, every time i touch the sides of the mouse it keeps spreading all of my windows out.”

mac user: “oh, here you can turn that off in system preferences. let me show you.”

mactard: “haha! the pc has made you dumb. expose is the best thing to grace this planet, you just don’t know how to use it cause you’re dumb!”

windows user and mac user: “stfu already dude.”
a mac fan that blindly believe that any products produced by apple inc. is superior to all other products of the same kind. such a person believe that apple is the “de facto standard” of similar products and also believe that apple is the victim from which others simply copy inventions from.
user 1: do you thing this asus laptop or that toshiba’s is faster? i got so excited after i tried windows 7.

user 2: neither, windows 7 is just windows. you should get a mac, “it just works” and doesn’t have “thousand of viruses”.

user 1: have you even use windows 7?

user 2: no, but it is a rebrand of windows me and windows vista. no matter how much microsoft try to copy from mac, windows 7 is just like putting lipstick on a pig.

users 1: you are such a mactard, commenting on a product you haven’t even use!
someone who paid twice as much for a computer that does half of what a pc can do. incapable of admitting this error, they weave an elaborate fiction, believing that they are unique and special snowflakes, when in fact they must slavish bond together with other logo-obsessed narcissists to reinforce their collective delusion of superiority.
noticing that my home built pc lacked an apple logo, the group of mactards snickered into their identical imacs and began praying in unison to the almighty steve.

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