Male Pattern Blindness

when a man will search for hours to find something that is laying out in the open on a table. items are often easily found by a women.
man: “i have been searching for hours for keys.”
woman: “you mean the ones sitting there on the coffee table?”
man: “where?”
woman: “right there in the middle of that table.”
man: “oh, must have been male pattern blindness”
male pattern blindness / pattern male blindness – a condition that afflicts men in which they are in a situation where a woman is giving every signal he needs to make a successful close but he does not notice. later on, he may finally realize his blunder but the realization comes too late.
a girl might give a guy ioi’s (indicators of interest) such as touching his arm, playing with her hair, or laughing at his unfunny jokes. a guy with male pattern blindness, usually due to lack of confidence, -ssumes she is just being nice when in actuality she wants him to hit on her / kiss her / f-ck her / etc…
an affliction suffered by both men and women, however most often by men. it is marked by an enthusiastic penchant for -ssigning certain bad habits as something women do, and inexplicably not noticing it when men do the same thing in the same frequency.
(in the car)

brad: omg! get off the phone lady! freakin women always have their cell phones out!

marla: brad, you txt and drive all the time. that guy over there is talking on the phone. and the guy next to us is also texting. everywhere i go there’s a dude talking on a cell phone. i can’t walk anywhere on my college campus without being stuck behind both girls and guys on the phone.

brad: (-snort-) na-ah!

marla: you have a bad case of male pattern blindness.