mall security

usually employed by a contracted “security” company, these people are given absolutely no means to control dangerous situations, but are expected to keep things under control until the police arrive. their job is to give the “perception” of security, without actually having to go through the h-ssle of having real training. usually known as rent a cops, they must also deal with a complete lack of respect from the patrons of the mall they serve. low pay and horrible hours make the job ideal only to lazy fat people and college students.
concerned citizen: that man just ate my daughter!
mall security guard: wtf do you want me to do, all i have is a flashlight! this radio doesn’t even work outside the building.
5 more definitions
fake cops
their police gear includes a flash light and roll of quarters to call the real cops when things get intense
i got stopped by a mall cop because me and my friend had a plastic gun we bought a the dollar store (in the mall). we almost got kicked out of the mall for “possession of a replica of a firearm.”
a position of a security officer in a mall that works to keep douchbaggary to a minimum, and offer information and help to people actually there to shop.
example #1. mall-security just kicked that guy out because he was being loud and disruptive and used foul language, i am so thankful that that douchbag has left the building.

example #2. that mall-security officer was extremely friendly and helpful when i couldn’t find the restrooms.

rent-a-cop
fake pigs
the f-gs that think they are bad-ss real cops that ban you from the mall, arrest you, and send you to jail.
mall security banned me from the mall for a year and arrested me.
one leet motha f-cka
mall-security owns!