malverne

literally one of the smallest and richest towns on long island. the people here are filthy rich irish republicans. the teens are all over-sheltered, spoiled and sometimes weirdos because they have been sent to catholic schools by their racist parents in lieu of the great and diverse malverne school district. the town is bordered by lynbrook and west hempstead. everyone here eats bagels and pizza. we all love danny’s bagels. you will find thicker long island accents here and expensive sports cars parked in front of beautiful, yet modestly sized homes. everyone has been to malverne cinema and has watched malverne mel on groundhog day. the teens all go to lynbrook and west hempstead to hang out and party because there’s too many old people in malverne. we have our own tiny police department made up of overpaid and under-worked officers who confiscate teens skateboards, har-ss the minority kids who go to the public schools, and wait for speeders on ocean avenue. everyone knows everyone and there is an extreme community vibe here. an all around great place to live in the end.
“i’m from malverne, i go to kellenberg high”

person #1: where are you from?
person #2: malverne
person #1: wheres that?

person #1: where are you from?
person #2: malverne
person #2: you must have money.
get a mug for your boyfriend georges.
little random city on long island, everyone who lives their has more money then the surronding areas. teens want out, cops suck big time, it has about 6 town parks all with about 10 ft of walking sp-ce. nothin ever goes on here, and mostly old ppl live here. occ-ssionally ppl spot a black person
wow i can’t believe we are stuck in malverne
get a mug for your cousin josé.
literally one of the smallest and richest towns on long island. the people here are filthy rich irish republicans. the teens are all over-sheltered, spoiled and sometimes weirdos because they have been sent to catholic schools by their racist parents in lieu of the diverse malverne school district. the town is bordered by lynbrook and west hempstead. everyone here eats bagels and pizza. we all love danny’s bagels. you will find thicker long island accents here and expensive sports cars parked in front of beautiful, yet modestly sized homes. everyone has been to malverne cinema and has watched malverne mel on groundhog day. the teens all go to lynbrook and west hempstead to hang out and party because there’s too many old people in malverne. we have our own tiny police department made up of overpaid and under-worked officers who confiscate teens skateboards, har-ss the minority kids who go to the public schools, and wait for speeders on ocean avenue. everyone knows everyone and there is an extreme community vibe here. an all around great place to live in the end.
“i’m from malverne, i go to kellenberg high”

person #1: where are you from?
person #2: malverne
person #1: wheres that?

person #1: where are you from?
person #2: malverne
person #2: you must have money.
get a mug for your barber abdul.
a mad small town in long island ny that even the bordering towns never heard of. its all middle cl-ss and 95% old people. the police force do nothing but har-ss teens and minorities. every once in awhile you may see a black person. most of the people there are racist and send their kids to all white catholic schools. the 0.01% non racist people send there kids to the malverne schools which are mostly black. everyone in malverne are irish republicans. nothing ever happenes in malverne. its the most boring place in ny.
“hi im from malverne” “where is that?”
“im from malverne and i go to the catholic school”
“hi im from malverne and im afraid of minorities”
get a mug for your friend zora.
super small town by the south sh-r- of long island. a bunch of wealthy irish people who know how to party hard. all the teens hangout in town and it’s not uncommon to see a pile of 20 bikes outside of angelo’s pizza. most malverne kids go to catholic school but the public school kids and the catholic school kids all hangout together. all the boys wear khakis with nikes and have great hair. the girls all wear white nike tube socks, sweatpants, and buns on the tops of their heads. malverne is super small yet there are about 10 public parks all within walking distance. malverne is only a few minutes away from the water. everyone knows everyone and there’s a strong community vibe in malverne.
– hey what’s going on tonight?

– i heard there’s a party in malverne tonight

– h-ll yeah! those malvernites know who to party!
get a mug for your fish vivek.