Mario Kart Syndrome

a syndrome that develops in gamers who excessively play the addicting game of mario kart with their friends. it’s harmless, for the most part. people with this syndrome will begin to hallucinate and daydream. they will start thinking of their entire life as a cartoon-like racing game. their minds will be haunted by the sound of the “invincible star” music. some may even start glowing rainbows and start dancing to the music in their heads. they may act jumpy around other people, thinking that at any moment someone will shoot a red koopa sh-ll at them. people with this syndrome also might have the strange habit of collecting banana peels instead of throwing them away after eating their bananas like normal people. when you ask them why, they will almost certainly answer, “for defense against the koopa sh-lls!”. never be caught in a car with a person with mario kart syndrome. they will almost no doubt floor the gas pedal and try to “power slide”. they may even laugh like a maniac and say, “you won’t beat me this time luigi!”. if you take something that belongs to a person with mario kart syndrome, they’ll say, “f—ing boo stole my item again!” people with mario kart syndrome might also have a strange craving for mushrooms. lots and lots of mushrooms…
dad: -playing mario kart- oh yeah! toad you just got sh-lled!
daughter: dad… please… that game’s for little kids… you’ll get mario kart syndrome at this rate.
dad: pfft! that’s just a myth.
–next day–
dad: -driving his daughter to school and starts flooring the gas pedal and power slides all over the place-
daughter: dad! what are you doing?!
dad: …must… defeat… donkey… kong…
daughter: dad…? are you alright…? dad?!
dad: i’m better than alright… i’m… -the whole car starts glowing rainbows- invincible! -takes his hands off the wheel and starts dancing to “invincible star” music that just started playing on the radio-
daughter: wtf? -the car goes through several other vehicles unharmed, sending each car it runs through flying-
dad: -throws banana peel out the window- take that yoshi!
daughter: dad! look out!
dad: huh? -invincibility wears off and they crash into a tree-
daughter: -looks at watch- great… now i’m going to be late for school! …i hope you’re happy dad!
dad: aw man… -head hits steering wheel- i got eighth place!