Marjomaki

a family of loud, proud finns. bred for their extemely high intelligence, st-rdy frames, friendly dispositions, and their ability to embrace change and hardship with grace. coming to america around the 1900’s, they worked hard to support their families for minimul pay. they lived below their means and saved for the future. by the first quarter of the century they owned many parcels of land including such that housed a bar and gas station. they chose to set up shop in the beautiful upper pennisula of michigan. a part of the country with a similiar climate to that of their native finland. some still reside there. others now call illinois, colorado, even texas their home. this particular family has the most sparkling blue eyes one has ever seen on either their brunette or toe headed offspring. women of this bloodline often have to fight to prove their intelligence outwieghs their beauty. although, this writer sees the two being equally prevalent parts of the marjomaki woman. all in the family can drink. and drink. and drink. this fondness for the 12-pack has led to many domestic disputes and the occ-ssional adulterous affair. the reason for the latter being that their intelligence doesn’t go away in the bedroom. not so much thet they are concerned about their partners pleasure, but that the marjomaki has a keen sense of what pleasures themself and embraces it to the point of causing extreme exhilaration in their partner. marjomaki’s tend to treat strangers with more respect than family members. going out of their way to be friendly and helpful is typical. james w. marjomaki once followed a woman, going 10 minutes out of his way, to make sure she knew her tire was unbalanced. a harsh tongue is common when dealing with one of their own. this comes from the immense love and loyalty a marjomaki has for their family. they want each member to strive for greatness and reach beyond their potential. when one commits an act or makes a statement that shows stupidity or weakness the brother/sister is faced to see that very stupidity or weakness in themselves, their family, and fights to change it. mediocracy is not accepted because marjomaki’s are anything but common. education is of great importance to the marjomaki. we don’t tell our children “if” you go to college…; we say “when you attend college…” a marjomaki could win the lottery and after a couple vacations and a tour of vegas, would stuff their backpack and hit the books. this is not uncommon among finns. look up for yourself the many great discoveries which have come out of finland. you can call a marjomaki a lot of things, but you can never call them stupid. if you have had the patience to get to the end of this definition, you are most likely not a marjomaki.
david: “man, those people sure are loud! do they have hearing problems?”
eino: “no, they’re just marjomakis.”

kirk: “i’ve never met a woman with looks and smarts.”
jim: “then you’ve never met a marjomaki!”

kim: “i need to get really, really laid tonight.”
dana: “you need a marjomaki.”