mastering physics

it is something that gets to your heads. first year physics students going into sciences may be subjected to this psychological torture. basically, you have six chances to answer a question correct, after that… you get o. some people develop a certain detached immunity towards it, overcoming their initial fears, picturing in their minds the day when the program will no longer be needed to judge adequate understanding of elementary physics. omg i haven’t done my mastering physics yet! kill me now!!! sh-t, i forgot to do it too… why… oh why?? don’t let it get to your heads guys! don’t let it get to you…the moment it senses weakness, you’re doomed!
verb and/or noun: the process of demoralizing aspiring science majors by the keepers of the knowledge who devised such a tool.

doublespeak.

punishing students for trying to learn by making homework become a graded quiz rather than a learning tool, and consequently depriving them of time to actually learn by keeping them preoccupied with ambiguous and gramatically incorrect descriptions and questions.
i am your professor, and you will be mastering physics. mwahahahaha!!!!

so what do you have for homework today? mastering physics . . . fml.
an online homework website created by a cl-ss of students at mit. mastering physics is obviously for physics homework. encomp-ssing basic physics to upper division physics.

mastering physics hates its students. they randomly want rounded answers, but then later want unrounded answers to be used in equations, and never stating that. they usually ask for 3 significant figures, but sometimes ask for 2, or dont give tell you.

they have a system that also accepts answers in terms of variables, with subscripts and superscripts, which is quite tricky. also accepted are greek alphabet characters.

mastering physics turns your fun physics into agonizing something somethings
chris: oh sh-t, it asked for the answer to part a rounded to 3 sig-figs, but later they wanted the answer to be un-rounded when used in the equation, so i got part b wrong, and lost 5%

eric: f-ck me, i got the hint wrong and it took away points, its not supposed to do that! mason!!!!

chris: im going to leave them dirty comments and say i learned nothing because this question sucked so bad.

chris,eric: mastering physics sucks b-lls
an online homework -ssignment website that will start off by robbing you 50 bucks for a 25 letter serial code, then go on to rape you by applying an exotic method of late penalties. during the first 50 minutes after the due time, usually 11:59 in the evenings for major -ssignments or 10:00 on the day you have your lecture for reading -ssignments, 1 percent is taken off for every minute you are late, seconds rounding up. after the first 50 minutes, you the rate of penalty will increase according to an unknown function yet to be reconstructed by me. you will often end up with -1000% with one day’s delay.

this particular program is also very sly when it comes to plagerism. in the beginning, it will give all students of a particular cl-ss the same question, which encourages you to cheat. afterwards, it will change the numerical components of a question everytime you tried to do it or show answer after you’ve completed it.

due to no notifications, it is very easy to miss an -ssignment
ab: what did you get on your mastering physics -ssignment man?

horton: aww sh-t, there was another one？ i dont know, probably around the negative thousands.
an online homework site that will make any natural science major want to quit the internet. it culls those who are truly worthy of science from the rest.
priyanka (pre-med): ahhh mastering physics is due tomorrow
allison (pre-law):…you’re still a science major? wtf.
~2 hours later~
priyanka: i need to draw diagrams, see if m-ss cancels, and solve for acceleration, then use kinematics to find speed.
allison:…are you speaking english?