Mayor Bloomberg


the mayor of new york city and true force behind the throne of the chipmunk empire, who mastered the ability to transfigure himself into human from during the christmas of 1982 while living in the walls of a suburban townhouse somewhere in connecticut. recently after the discovery of his small mammalian background by republican strategist darth maul he left the party with the backing of pieta and the socialist collation of stature diminished peoples of colorado. microbiologists have also discovered that cigarette smoke and car emissions harm his still small rodent lungs and limiting his shape shifting abilities.
person 1: “did you hear the plan mayor bloomberg has to place tolls all over manhattan”

person 2: “won’t that completely destroy all transportation into new york city’s business district”

person 1: “that’s the point, i hear that the mayor’s lungs are the size of cherry tomatoes”

person 2; “wow he shouldn’t have transm-ted himself into the grinch”

person 1: “yeah, but he needed the grinch’s heart to be a politician”

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