Medical Emergency

noun \i-ˈmər-jənt-sē\

1. an unexpected and usually dangerous health related situation that calls for immediate action.

2. a patient requiring urgent and immediate medical attention

3. an occurrence or condition which prevents one from being capable of performing the duties of their job and/or living because of impending threat to their visual acuity, extremity locomotion or core autonomic respiratory and circulatory functions (aside from a severe case of crying baby syndrome cbs)
in short: life, limb or eyesight

if you do not meet one of the definitions above, your situation is not an emergency and can wait until the primary care provider’s office opens. additionally, if you had the time to read this entire sign, you are most likely not an emergent patient.
-frantic knocking on door-

medic: “it’s 0236. what’s the medical emergency?”

random whiner: “doc, i’ve got a bad cough and i stubbed my toe…”

medic: “you… cough. . . toe. . .”

-grabs weapon, chambers round-

random whiner: “erm…” -runs away quickly-

medic: “feelin better now, eh?”
when one runs out of medical marijuana
bob: what’s wrong,why are you so distraught
rick: i didn’t want to let you know but, i have no master kush
or headband
bob: we’ll just smoke some white widow, green crack or granddaddy purple , or blue dream
rick: no you don’t understand there is nothing, no
platinumorbubba kushnoog kusheither, not a g of northern lightsak-47white rhino

orrussian not a joint ofpineapple expressbannana kush orsour diesel not a crumb oflebanese hashcheese kief or drop ofhoney oil not a roach offloeuphoriastargazermazarcindy99la confidentialalaskan thunderf-ckhawaiian blue sativaromulanbarney…..
bob: oh my god! n-body could have imagined such a
crisis what a catastrophe!!!

it is a medical emergency!!!!

p.s. medical emergency! is never seen without exclamatory marks, remarks, or headshaking sympathy for the victims of this heinous plight.