mellophone

best instrument ever. it is perfectly balanced between the upper ranges and lower ranges. the best of both worlds. woman mellophone lines in the last ten years in drum corps rings have notorious scored higher than those made only of men. mellophone, in the key of f, may sound flat, but it is actually the tone quality (ok, the instrument itself is impossible to play not flat, everyone else tune down). mellophone’s always play the meanest licks and the greatest dynamics.
tob judge: sopranos suck. their high notes are so horrific. wow, that mellophone double e was beautiful. g-d i love the mellophone.
a fairly large frontal facing insturment which some people call a marching french horn.

i like to define it as follows.

mellophone, noun – a trumpet(not capitalized) with a bigger p-n-s. used by those who either play horn in symphony or have realized in all of their infinite wisdom that trumpets suck at life.
“mellown” player: “i’m a mellophone player, i’m out of tune always but i make up for it by playing at r-t-rded volumes because dynamics don’t matter in marching band, right?

mark: “i’m a trumpet player and that makes me a horrible person, i’m stupid, annoying, and ugly, no one will ever love me genuinley, and pain and misery will haunt my pathetic life for all eternity”
the single most amazing instrument in a marching band, ever. it is usually played by those of higher intelligence and awesomeness, aka concert f horn players. always louder than the trumpets. no exceptions.
trumpet player: dude i have to march in front of you guys during the show. i cant even hear myself think!
mellophone player: good. that means we are doing our job!
the greatest of the forgotten instruments in band. mellophones are the marching version of a french horn, because french horns don’t project properly to be used for marching. many schools nowadays don’t have them however, since ewhs is the best, we do. they’re played in corps and often the people that play them are pretty timid, unlike their similar looking trumpets. mellophones are the best!!!
mellophone player: i play the mellophone
non bandgeek: what’s that?
mellophone player: it’s a trumpet looking object in the key of f which a huge bell the size of a french horn bell.
a mellophone is what french horn players march and play in marching band. it’s like a trumpet with a horn bell. trumpet players call it a trumpet on steroids. but really, a trumpet is an anorexic mellophone.
trumpet player 1: man! what is that thing?!
trumpet player 2: it’s a mellophone. aka a trumpet on steroids.
trumpet player 1: ohhh! that’s funny!
mello player: really??? ’cause i heard you play an anorexic mello??
the most awesome instrument in marching band. in concert band, the mellophone players are french horn players, which epically pwn anyway, so when they change to mellophone, its just as awesome. people may make fun of them, but its just cause they’re jealous.
trumpet player says: haha, stupid mellophones

trumpet player thinks: ahh, i wish i could be a mellophone. they look so cool.
a small pipe used to smoke your chronic. it comes from the latin roots “mellonious”, to chill, and “phonius”, to smoke.
big bird was a consumate user of the mellophone down on sesame street. (cookie monster too; hence the munchies)

please don’t empty your mellophone in my car ashtray, my parents are very suspicious and paranoid people.

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