mendham

a scarily small town in morris county, new jersey… you know you live in mendham if…….
– you refill your white styrofoam cup just to show people you’ve been to wicker
-you’ve probably spotted chris christie at the local pub

-the high school sports are absolutely awful and lack any type of spirit

-despite sharing a high school, mendhamites find themselves superior to “chestericans”

-you are republican and you are proud. it probably says #buildthewall in your instagram bio
-half the people in this town go to sw-nky private schools

-mendham moms are spotted at the local grocery store and look away when they see you

– it’s difficult to spot someone who isn’t white
-you probably go to florida in the winter, and lbi in the summer.

– you know at least 1 girl who is committed as a soph-m-re for lacrosse
-you think morristown is a “ghetto”

-you own a juul, probably bought from golds in the so-called “ghetto”
-you know at least five people going to uc boulder, uvm, or elon
– some people have lived here all their lives, but the majority just want to “get the h-ll out”

-you hate central high school. with a p-ssion. you’ve probably called one a “farm hick” before
morristown person: so where do you live?
mendham person: mendham -sticks nose in air –
morristown person: oh.. gotta blast
a small, picturesque, upper cl-ss town in morris county, new jersey. the streets are lined with coffee shops, banks, and expensive, trendy boutiques. everyone drives mercedes, bmw’s, audis, jeeps, range rovers, or lexuses and you don’t have to look far to find a hummer, porsche, or jaguar. popped-collars and designer jeans are essential, if you don’t own a pair of expensive jeans you don’t belong here. the high school is filled with every stereotype you’ve ever seen in a movie, but don’t be fooled by the disheveled, dirty stoner-boy, because he probably drives an escalade and lives in a masion ten-times the size of your house. regardless of your social clique, everyone parties hard. beer pong reigns supreme and every kind of drug is in abundance. kids come from everywhere to party here.

overall, it’s a cl-ssy and awesome town and everyone in the surrounding towns (i.e., summit, basking ridge, chatham, etc) wished they lived here.
we party harder than you at mendham high school, all while wearing our ralph lauren polo’s and seven jeans.
rich, white town filled with playa haters. moms who snort lines before they drive their kids to practice and fathers who go on “business trips.” don’t mess. our lawyers will kick your -ss.
white boy: yo can i buy some weed?
black guy from morristown: ….your from mendham arent you?
richest sn-bbiest place in new jersey. great schooling, but zomg worst people ever……and all but one cop sucks , and most people are ashamed to say they live here
person one: where you from
person two: uhhm a small town near morristown
person one: what town
person two: mendham

-person one gives person two a dirty look and spits on him-
mendham is a tiny, scary town in jersey that is all about drugs and divorce and perfect lawns. everyone thinks it is so great and cl-ss but it’s really not. on the surface it is decievingly proper.. but under all that, you’ll find that everyone here has these really insane dark secrets, heroin addictions or dead bodies in the bas-m-nts and sh-t like that. there are loads of sweet artsy kids here, poppy pr-cks, jockstars and celebrities. mendham blows. the high school blows.
ps: keep out of the alleys. you may be accosted by a footballer/rapist or a man dressed as jesus.
“dude, that kid is mad weird.”
“he’s from mendham.”
“oh. my bad.”