meurf

the term ‘meurf’ was coined in late 2004 to early 2005 by one, saad khan. it has since been used to describe any cute, cuddly animal, human being or inanimate object.

there are 3 different levels of meurf which are followed by the ultimate meurf judge — “salad”.

meurf level 1 – must be declared within the neonatal period of life (first 28 days) and must be approved unanimously by all 3 major salad judges. (tahir, nasir and saad)

meurf level 2 – can be declared at the first month of life or up till the end of the first year. this level continues until the end of the 3rd year of life. it is considered easier for an individual to be declared a meurf level 2 after they have been a meurf level 1, but it is not a needed prerequisite.

meurf level 3 – after the meurf level 2 has completed their term as a level 3, they may either register to become a level 3 or may decide to directly become a salad. it is recommended by the judges that an extraordinarily cute meurf be a level 3 meurf to get all the benefits but the meurf may decide to be a salad if they wish.

salad – the salads is an elite group of meurf judges which rule all the different levels of meurfs. an opposing group is the ‘pop tarts’. there is a strict rule that no salad directly identify themselves as a ‘pop tart’, unless in a mocking or joking matter, such as the founder saad khan does from time to time. entry into the salads is the most difficult, which is why it is recommended a meurf become a level 3 meurf before they apply to be a meurf.

–granting meurfness (or becoming meurfed) is very easy if the applicant is a direct relative of any salad member.

–there is a 90% acceptance rate for meurf level 1 applicants

–there is a 70% acceptance rate for meurf level 2 applicants that have not been meurf level 1s and a 97% chance if they have been level 1 meurfs.

–there is a 50% chance for meurf level 3 applicants to be accepted. being a meurf level 2 is needed to become a meurf level 3.

–there is a 1% acceptance rate to becoming a salad. there is rigorous test which must be p-ssed which includes testing of awkwardness, how good the individual is at detecting awkwardness, level of creativity, efficiency of using microsoft paint, amiability and scandaliciousness. it is recommended a salad applicant to purchase a foreign black car with a tan interior.

–it is not needed for a meurf to be a human being.
“dang saad, your neighbor’s dogs are meurfs.”

nasir’s presbyterian hospital bear in the back of his car is a meurf.