Michael Whitehead
(n.) to describe michael whitehead, is to list all words reminiscent of him. such as:
d-ck ,used2 be fat,idiot,doof-ss,dumf-ck,sh-thead…once one always one. he is a swimmer, and he preferably lives in florida, although that is not required. to be a michael whitehead, you must
1.] pms like a b-tch. even though you are a hot man.
2.] treat the girl you secretly like but would never admit it like sh-tt.
3.] be incredibly hot, but previously fat.
4.] come off as a nice guy, when you are really a conniving d-ckface.
5.] break the only girl to ever probably truly understand you’s heart.
6.] be a really skilled swimmer and sailer.
7.] be a liar. and have no b-lls when it comes to doing stuff about girls.
and lastly, always be a d-ck. if you are not a d-ck, then you are not michael whitehead. he is the john tucker of florida. if you see a michael whitehead, don’t run. don’t call molesters anonymous. instead, flirt. shamelessly. and then break his heart. you will be glad you did ;] he is one that does not let go easily, so make sure he’s hooked.
little girl: hey mommy, it’s michael whitehead!
mom: oh shiiittt. run.
—————–
teenage girl: hey babe wink wink
michael whitehead: hey hot stuff.
teenage girl : thinking i’ll make him wish he were deaddd. (:
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