Middlesbrough

town in the north east of england
i live in middlesbrough
a town in the north-east of england, situated on the river tees, which is also the largest town in europe, just because it hasn’t been made into a city yet. home of the smoggie, named after the ici chemical plant and other industries which fill the air with pollution and make the sky turn brown in winter. locals call both the town and the football team (middlesbrough fc) “boro”, while outsiders misspell the town’s name as middlesborough. there is a distinctive teesside accent, distinguishable from geordie, despite what the producers of steel river blues would like you to think.

landmarks include the transporter bridge, the largest aerial ferry in the world (though there are only about three), the newport bridge, and various monuments in and around the town to commemmorate captain james cook, the explorer who discovered australia and was born in the local area. the inhabitants will be quick to complain about the virtual lack of any other famous monuments, and a dearth of celebrities. other famous people from the town include (and are largely limited to): kirsten o’brien, the children’s tv presenter; paul daniels, the magician; and a few footballers.

though not a very old, famous or prestigious town, residents realise its merits when they find out there are rarely gridlocks at rush hour, unlike most other towns and cities, despite the limitations of there only being two main roads into the town centre. this is possibly because everybody is so put off by the high rate of drug dealing, teenage pregnancy, poverty and other crime, that the town is rated by many to be the worst place to live in britain, much to the delight of the suburbians and to the dismay of the town redevelopers.

in development, the seemingly overly well-planned industrial estate has allowed many local businesses to flourish, and an ambitious redevelopment plan for middlehaven, a brownfield site by the river, hopes to attract more businesses and money to the area. however, the plans have been ridiculed by non-residents and residents alike, for its suggestion of turning the place into a “toy town”. the prospect of a casino, riverside apartments and a self-sufficient business community also detracts from middlesbrough’s industrial heritage and may not serve to redevelop the town effectively.

in recent years, the town’s location has somehow come into question. in very early times much of it was part of north yorkshire, and then langbargh/cleveland/teesside. now, apparently none of these places exist, so there is no county and you have to look under ‘durham’ or elsewhere to find the town in a directory. however, the area retains its ts postal area code. the telephone area code is 01642.
middlesbrough’s a daza place to live because there aren’t any traffic jams, which totally outweighs the risk of having my car burned out or bursting my tyre on a syringe.
the greatest club to ever grace any sport, from any country.

“see ‘boro beat manchester united 4-0 last week, man?”
“yeah, they were all over them!”
middlesbrough is a large town in north east england and is one of the largest urban areas in europe without city status. its has an urban population of around 182,000 making it the second largest town/urban hub in the north east after newcastle (190,000) and before sunderland (177,000) (not so much a ‘small town in europe’ anymore). however only 143,000 are located within the borough of middlesbrough who are actually governed by mbro council which makes it the smallest district and sunderland the largest with 300,000.
middlesbrough itself was established around 1830 and was officially incorporated in 1853. traditionally in north riding of yorkshire, it was merged with stockton, thornaby, eston district, billingham and lanbaurgh (redcar) to form teesside and later cleveland county (including hartlepool). it has some of the most stunning scenery in europe set against the backdrop of an industrial powerhouse. it set the standrad for steel the world over and was the worlds leading area for steel and iron production. it gained the nickname ‘ironopolis’ or city of iron. indeed middlesbrough is responsible for the construction of many famous bridges, the sydney harbour bridge, victoria falls bridge, our own transporter and newport and even the symbol of geordie pride, the tyne bridgem was built in middlesbrough. famous people to sp-wn from middlesbrough were/are cpt. james cook, roy ‘chubby’ brown, paul daniels, wilf mannion, brian clough, don revvie, chris rea….. we also invented the parmo (need i say more). the accent is unique and has become a modern geordie and scouse although the stereotypical smoggie is a brash hardnut chav who drinks like a whale and swears like f—ing dunno what. all in all mintage!!!
middlesbrough is not spelt with an extra southern o it is brough not borough.
middlesbrough is an industrial town in the north-east of england it is full of drugs, prost-tutes, thieving little c-nts, illegal immagrints, and parmos!!!!!! middlesbrough has the highest teen pregnancy rate in europe well done kids!! it is supposed to be the easiest place in the country to buy cocaine and herroin but i don’t belive that. middlesbrough is the 7th wort place to live in britain statistically just because it has the highest car stealing figures in the country doesn’t make it a bad place!! there are some nice places but they are slowly becoming sh-tholes like the rest of the town. all in all if you want to buy cheap drugs freely and easily have a good cheap night with a prost-tute have your car knicked and get mugged by smack head come to middlesbrough!! proud smoggie:d:d
want to buy sum charlie
yer
come to middlesbrough
town in north-east of england. home to middlesbrough football club aka the boro (pr-nounced bu-ra). highest rate of teenage pregancy in britain and approx 99% of council homes are occupied by single mothers of 1/2/3/4/5 children, who have sky+ installed and a wide screen plasma tv.
single mother: f-ck off for half an hour you little f-cks, i got a client coming round at 9. and take ya little brother with ya, i don’t want him walking in on me while i’m working like last time.
a town in the north east of england which is commonly referred to as “poland” due to it’s resemblance to the country, a resemblance which was pointed out by catherine alexander.
middlesbrough looks like poland, yo! it is da nuts!

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