Molotov Cattail
a violent and somewhat revolutionary act, whereby one takes a mason jar, a flammable liquid of some variety, a roll of duct tape, and, of course, a live, adorable, mewling kitten. you take the jar, fill it a depth of roughly half the cat’s length, dangle the kitten head first into the jar (barely deep enough for it’s snout to be submerged), securely tape the kitten’s haunches/hindquarters into the mouth of the jar, light it’s tail, and throw it at the offending party. preferably, the elderly, for being slow… and smelly. and old.
i was sitting on my porch, and old man jenkins hobbled by. naturally, i was consumed with a ravenous, h-llbound fury and an unquenchable thirst to take his life, via a good ol’ molotov cattail. my life sentence starts thursday.
totally worth it.
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