mom jeans

another way of abbreviating marijuana to thwart off nosy -ssholes who know what “mary jane” means.
i’ve gotta hide my mom jeans in the dresser before my parents get!

mom jeans: high waisted and tapered. n-body looks good in these type of jeans. angelina jolie would look like a pile of cr-p in mom jeans.
jeans highlighting the flat curvature of the 40+ b-ttocks. similies: upside-down-heart shaped-b-tt. commonly seen aacompained with front b-tt. extremly high waist, and always a cr-ppy shade of blue or black. usually found in kohl’s or mervyn’s.
“susie, now that youve had 10 kids, lets get you into some mom jeans..”
often seen on the 40+ crowd, mom jeans are too high, too tight, tapered leg jeans which manage to showcase any bodily flaw the wearer has. possible outcomes: the b-tt will be compressed so it doesn’t stick out, it will instead be pushed to the sides, making it look far wider than it actually is. the genital triangle will be emphasized and outlined (see camel toe or fupa). the hips will look wider because of the b-tt compression and the tapering of the legs.

in addition, mom jeans are often light in color, which further emphasizes the outcomes mentioned above. they also come in the elastic-waist variety which further defines the genital triangle.
“honestly, you would think after years of telling their kids how to dress, women would figure out that those mom jeans they have on just aren’t flattering.”
ugly very high jeans with 9 inch zippers that moms wear. sometimes containing elastic waist bands. very narrow at the bottom and big along the hips. they fit mom just the way she likes it.
these mom jeans say, “i’m not a woman anymore…i’m a mom!”
1. jeans that are often strong very high on a woman. usually 3 to 4 inches above the belly botton. often is seen at soccer games, baseball games, and other outdoor recreational activities.
continued. usually is accompanied by a thin belt, and a tucked in shirt. jeans are often broken in and are a warn in light blue type jeans.
continued. also since the jeans are high strung in the crotch area it is also very likely to see a pouch type pertusion in the front, an upside down heart in the back, m-ffin topping on the top, or the famous panty lines.
camel toe is a common side affect of mom jeans.
g-d d-mn, these pants are ridin me like mom jeans.

nothin makes me more h-rny for soccer moms then mom jeans.
high waisted jeans with a tapered leg. n-body looks good in these type of jeans. they make your thighs, hips, and belly look much bigger than they actually are.

a lot of women in their 40s tend to only buy these type of pants for a reason the baffles me. if you own a pair of mom jeans, you should burn them right away.
“holy sh-t! those mom jeans would make a supermodel look fat and frumpy!”
when elastic banded jeans/slacks/pants are pulled up way past the waist!! (not flattering) usually accompanied by a s-xy cardigan boasting birds or wildlife, and accessorized with a quilted purse. also known as high pantsing..
hahahahaha!! check out the douche wearing the mom jeans and f-nny pack. what a loser!!!
unflattering woman’s jeans worn slightly above the navel in a manner that accentuates flat b-ttocks
don’t wear mom jeans to the family reunion, it’ll embarr-ss my aunt.

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