Monkey butter

stephen colbert says this is a hollywood term for something s-xual. mentioned during his wrap up report of the 2003 emmy awards, where he apparently partic-p-ted in an a-lister orgy during an after party. it is implied to be gross.
jon stewart: i think they liked the ‘f-cking’ story better.

stephen colbert: i don’t blame them jon. …i don’t blame them jon. everyone likes the monkey b-tter.
(n.) a pet name used for a very close female friend. your “monkeyb-tter” is usually someone you trust a lot and hold in high regard.
“aww, you know you’re my monkeyb-tter.”
(n.) any by-product or discharge from any human activity that, while pleasant enough at the time, afterward is in some way less attractive; (adj.) anything that in retrospect might not have been such a good idea, (orig. from sticky discharge after s-x).
1. you were so hot tonight i’m all slathered in monkeyb-tter!

2. get that monkeyb-tter chair from ikea out of here!
a food spread made with the following ingredients:
1 banana
2 tbsp peanut b-tter
1 cup vanilla yogurt
2 tsp cinnamon sugar

works well on toast, especially french toast.
great with nutella!
for lunch today, my mom packed me a monkey b-tter sandwich. all the kids in the cafeteria went apesh-t.
a sweaty t-st-cl- ( when they stick to the inside of your thighs )
my monkeyb-tters have been sitting in the sun for 2 hours.. now im going to slap you in the face with them
an inside joke among bellsouth dial-up tech support agents (actually calltech, who outsource for bellsouth). comes from a phony customer listing named “monkey b-tter” which was used much like a message board between the agents. it had a lot of funny posts and lots of html. it was eventually deleted when one of the supervisors caught wind of it.

on a related note, another agent created a listing called “son of monkey b-tter” and was fired in short order for it.
“dude, check out what somebody put on monkeyb-tter!”
1) a solid b-tter representation in the form of a hairy monkey, often mistaken for the b-tter used by monkeys and apes. that is of course untrue.

2) the name of the theory that monkeys are able to spread b-tter on toast, or blueberry m-ffins, or other things. this is a theory that dates back to the early 2000s, prior to the stephen colbert monkey b-tter incident of 2006, which came as a shock to the theorists.

3) out of the incident came a new definition of monkey b-tter, meaning “outrageous” or “no way” or “impossible.”
“i had some monkey b-tter on my bagel this morning for brunch.”

“the philosophers thought long into the night about the concept of monkey b-tter.”

“what? stephen colbert said monkey b-tter? monkey b-tter!”

1
2
next ›
last »