moorpark

we have that mammoth they dug up, that guy from top chef, a nationally acclaimed academic decathalon team, a combined gym/movie theater, about 400 supermarkets and pizza places, and, of course, we have more god d-mn parks than you. moorpark. f-ck yeah.
a typical conversation in moorpark:
person 1: hey man, what do you wanna do?
person 2: i dunno, we could go to tierra rejada park, or mountain meadows park, or campus canyon park, or poindexter park, or peach hill park, or arroyo vista park, or…sh-t man, let’s just go hang out at vons.
sh-ttiest town on the face of the planet.
the only thing people do for fun here is loiter outside of vons.
all the white kids are stuck up, extremely fake, and all write on their mysp-ce about me’s “i live the good life.”
and the hispanics think they’re hard core gangsters, but the most they do is steal everyone’s ipods and tag sh-t.
everyone in the freshman cl-ss of 2012 and down is either a major sl-t or an anime freak.
i am ashamed to say i live here.
kid number one: “hey what do you want to do today?”
kid number two: “idk, what’s there to do in moorpark? oh, i k now! let’s go to vons!”
kid number one: “idk man, that’s getting a bit tedious. maybe i can get some eighth grade girl hanging out at the tierra rejada park to give me a bj?”
kid number two: “yeah man, that sounds like a good plan.”
an awesome small town with nothing to do so everyone goes on urbandictionary and writes entries about it.
hey where are you from?

moorpark!!

ohhhhh i heard about that on urban dictionary!
the coolest town in the whole planet. where else can you eat subway, then loiter in front of a vons, then make fun of some 6th graders hanging oout at the park, examine farzalicious chicks and then make it home to catch your favorite episode od southpark and then call your friends and arange a sleepover and tp the gay kid at yur school whose name is probably ben. and then wake up and do it all over again. the answer. no where!
dude, i went to my cuzins house for the weekend and we had the coolest time ever.

where does he live?

only the coolest place ever. moorpark ca
moorpark (moor-park), unfortunately affectionately called kraproom by the bad-ss 5th graders that think it’s so cool to smoke weed now. the town of utter boredom but everything fun and needed is near a town harboring one of the best schools in the country for athletics and academics and some of the sl-ttiest girls in the country. a town where each generation is becoming worse starting with 2013 and up.
(kids graduating 2014)
kid1: dude my big bro took this 8th grader behind the moorpark mvms band room and madeout with her hes soooo cool

kid2: no way i wanna get head from an 8th grader… lemme borrow 10 bucks shes having a special

kid1: ok, but p-ss the bong already
a small town with absolutly nothing to do at all. the majority of the girls are sk-nks and the majority of the guys are shallow immature b-tt holes. the only thing to do around here is smoke loads of pot and once you get busted by the cops they have to call for like 20 cars of back up. then you have all the dumb people that get drunk every weekend have s-x and contract gonarea. every rumor gets around the whole town since its so small. the mexicans think they are the sh-t with their gangs, taging, drugs, and having s-x with any living thing with a p-n-s and or v-g-n-. all the mexicans just yell at eachother “ay cochina!!” seriously shut up! unfortunatly im stuck in this h-ll hole for awhile at least im not in the cl-ss of 2012 and down. they all have stds..no joke
moorpark haha what a joke
the lamest city in the world. the best thing to do here is to go to target or loiter in front of vons talking about what to do next. that’s all that’s done though. just talking about it. it’s also filled with a bunch of white kids going nowhere in life who think they’re the sh-t but haven’t stepped out into the real world, or the cholos/cholas in downtown moorpark who are also going nowhere in life. by 8 pm the city is dead because the people who live here are lame and don’t have anything to do but sleep or stay inside their houses, or the high school kids are hiding at their friend’s places smoking weed or drinking beers, but would never raise havoc in the streets of safe ole moorpark.
moorpark? where’s that? i’ve heard of simi valley and thousand oaks, but i don’t know what the h-ll moorpark is.