Morning Tragedy

when you wake up with an enormous stiff on, but fail to utilise it to its full potential, ie. cracking one out. this most often occurs when you are late for work/school, or you are at someone else’s house, but why should that stop you? be late for work or school because you were bashing one off, tell your boss that you were doing that and he will either have enormous respect for you or she will be extremely turned on and you will be able to give her the best office sh-g with an ending in production ever. noice.

the following are examples of what happens if you bash one off, like you should.
“why were you late for work this morning ted?”
“i was whapping one out this morning and totally lost track of time, turns out i have a lot more stamina than i thought…”
“nice dude! we wouldn’t want a morning tragedy on our hands.”

“why were you late for work this morning ted?”
“i was having an enormous w-nk over your huge t-ts this morning while i was in the shower, and i took a bit too long…”
“well how about you repay me the time you were late by f-cking my -rs- while i’m bent over this desk?”
“right in the middle of the office in front of everyone?”
“yes”
“how late was i?”
“a whole 2 minutes.”
“i’ll never last…”
(30 seconds of savage -n-l stretching occurs and then ted runs out of gas, blowing his non existent load onto the desk)
“sh-t man my c-ck hurts, i just j-zzed out a load of air, my tanks are empty.”
“what the h-ll are you doing?!?!”
“i’m sorry but i just cracked one out this morning so i havent exactly recovered.”
“you’re fired.”
“sh-t dude, now i think ill just go home and have a nap, hussey style, yeahhhhh.”