Mulletant

mulletant: aimless red state radical; one who speaks most pejoratively when asked to comment on city slickers, urban malaise, limousine liberals and macy’s marxists; a cloudy-minded (and usu. tipsy) creature who foams at the mouth when unaware p-ssenger seat dwellers pause at the local npr station when surfing am radio; a devout fan of disaffected rockers who distill left-leaning punk and angst-riddled music to a core formula of ‘screamoaning,’ suicidal ideation, and a “leave me alone” bas-m-nt meth lab att-tude.

a mulletant proves most dangerous when teaming up with like-minded fellows under a banner that attempts to capture a vague purpose (usu. through insignia pregnant with insecurity and/or a-historical chauvinism a.k.a. “emasculated lighter skinned–read: not darker than an undetermined standard unrelated to family trees and a promiscuous definition of european ancestry; not synonymous with “albino” or caused by “vitiligo”; usu. distinguishable from flu-like paleness; fluorescent glow may neither be achieved through clever use of foundation nor denied through indulgence in tanning goods or services–american mutt” power supremacists), not to be mistaken with any of the tightly organized (even militaristic) organizations bearing the coincidentally similar postfix “-ant.”
the “tw-ngy” newsletter coverboy is so mulletant. republican party in the back!

alt-country and folk are okay, but they fail to capture the coveted attention of a key demographic: tween mulletants whose disposable income remains a mystery to most astute -n-lysts of consumer behavior.

he’s harmless. he talks a lot of trash, but he’s just mad that his parents couldn’t afford to move out of the neightborhood when the cash-strapped (but comparatevily more industrious and potentially mobile) immigrants started moving into town. he’s a run-of-the-mill mulletant.