New Paltz

if you are familiar with the village and town of new paltz, then cleary you have enjoyed yourself in this area before, or know someone who has. enough interest has been circulated regarding this small town that it has become inundated with wealthy yuppies from the city, college drop outs/graduates, suv driving tourists with new jersey license plates who clog up the main road, tattoo-faced-train-hopping hobos, binge-drinkers, ugly-potheads, more stores to buy cr-p than any other products and tons of places to eat but no where you want to go. this once untainted, semi-uninhabited, esoteric, mountain town, home to farmers, earth loving hippies, talented artists and other smart people, is on it’s way to becoming the next “big” tourist trap without an ocean. much like woodstock (just a town and not home to the famous concert), new paltz is coining in on hearsay and taking a turn towards the tourist money making scene.
joe: “where are you from?”
jane: “new paltz.”
joe: “oh, that’s where that guy decided to marry all those gay couples.”

located in the hudson valley of new york. colorful, mountainous utopia of hippies, d1 ruggers, and an exceptionally good-looking university soccer team. the town that inspired bob dylan to pen “all along the watchtower” and paul simon’s ” killer goes to college”. people play bongos at 4 am and the geese have phallus-shaped heads. there are an array of quaint boutiques and ethnic eateries in the downtown area.
new paltz is the poor man’s greenwich village.
a town full of deemster heads with dried up pinneal glands.
kids from new paltz do deemster handstands with umbrellas, “oh that kid’s from new paltz… he probably puffs mad deemz” “new paltz is not the dunzo”
a town in the mid-hudson valley of new york full of old grateful dead loving burn-outs. homeless people sit on the stairs in front of the stores and play bongos and talk to the drunk college kids who walk by. strangely full of gay people and lesbians with hairy armpits. marijuana is in large abundence. theres about 500 pizza places on main street. the mountains are pretty too.
new paltz is the wanna-be woodstock.
a small community of burn-outs, woodstock left-overs, nyc minority imports, wannabe artists, and openly flaming gays that if you were raised here and did not leave after high school graduation you’re a complete loser.
you dropped out of uccc, got into drugs, work at a deli, date other losers who couldn’t seem to get out of town, and live with your parents still? ohhhhh you must have been raised in new paltz!