new year’s
a holiday that celebrates the idea of all the good things that will happen in another year. most people use this time to get drunk.
what better way to start off a new year than with a head-splitting hangover, the stench of vomit on your clothes, and a dwi.
new year is a time where over weight fat -sses pay for 3 months of gym memberships and go maybe 3 times in the first month, if they get their fat -ss off of the couch and turn off judge judy or maury. the time every year where my parents stop smoking for about 3-5 days then start again because of the stress me and my brother put them through, or something like that. time where we all go out and get drunk and watch a stupid f-cking ball be lowered off a building. new year is a great time, we start it off drunk, lie to our selves, and then go back to our normal denial state of mind 2 weeks later…
fat -ss aunt: yea i’m going to lose 50 pounds this year, already paid 6 months to the slim slow program
crack head uncle: yep, i am done with crack for good, have to see my kids grow up
crack head’s son: dad, i am 24, and you are trippin’ rite now
the reason for all the birthdays in september.
i have about 10 new years baby friends.
they’re all born in september
a time that hasn’t happened yet, but signifies the end of all the past new years. since it’s a new year, people usually make resolutions with themselves and/or others in order to forfity themselves and their self-respect, or whatever the reason.
this year i plan on killing you
1. another year.
2. a day many people celebrate like they’re insane and get drunk as h-ll.
1. “10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…happy new year!!!”
2. happy new year, officer! what? no, there’s no blood in my alchoholstream! i love you!!!
where the world celebrates another rotation of the earth around the sun. in most countries it is celebrated on the 31st of december. however this is an arbitrary day. a new year should really start after an equniox (either spring or autumn, this is where the length of the day and night are equal, both are 12 hours) or even after a solstice (again either summer or winter). in this case this is where the day or night is at its longest for the year.
new year’s is celebrated on the wrong day
a time when humanity realizes they are one more year closer to being extinct and dominated by robots and aliens to continue the foster and growth of the earth to supply there weapons and mother ships.
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4 , 3, 2, 1 booooooom! new years.
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