new year’s resolution
a reachable goal that you don’t bother to reach
friend #1: why didn’t you stop overeating?
friend #2: it was a new year’s resolution
a goal that you propose then forget the next day.
a goal that should be realistic.
my new year’s resolution is to eat less junk food, exercise more, and live an overall healthier, more productive, studious, exciting, and fulfilling life. this will probably result in utter failure, but i am making it anyway.
n: an -ssessment of, and often delusional attempt to correct, one’s shortcomings. typically made on a day that is arbitrary except that it begins a new year on the standard gregorian calendar. given the arbitrary nature of the date and the sudden change of lifestyle demanded by most resolutions, it should not be surprising that most resolutions are abandonded by the start of the next year. fortunately the next new year gives a person the opportunity to make the same resolution again.
a common new year’s resolution: get fit, get thin, get hot, get laid.
a common outcome: stay out of shape, stay fat, stay ugly, m-st-rb-t-.
the things you promise your self you will do over the year, but quit after the first 2 weeks.
bob’s new years resolution was to lose 30 pounds. but bob says a lot of things.
things you promise yourself you will do or accomplish, but try as you might you never will.
“this year i’m going to lose weight”
december 31, 2005, weight = 300 lb
“g-d d-mnit!!”
when a fat person says they’re going to loose weight that they never will, and just lie to themselves.
john’s new year’s resolution was to loose weight, he gave up two days later.
the bull sh-t that people say they will when they are hammered 10 mins before the new years comes. most of this is forgotten by the 3rd of january.
most of these “resolutions” are things like, lose weight, eat better, eat less, get a better job other then that casher job at mc donalds. most of these never happen, but when the planets are alined right, still none of these happen.
people who don’t have problems in life say, “f-ck that sh-t, i’m getting a sandwich.”
person with problems: “my new year’s resolution is to reach a weight under 300 lbs.”
person without problems: “f-ck that sh-t, i’m getting a sandwich.”
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