nextel

a cell phone service with terrible service in all areas except major cities. a service with overpriced phones, overpriced plans, and oversized phones.
hey check out my new nextel, i can’t call anyone because i don’t have service, i can’t buy gas because i’m broke paying for it, but it is the size of a small dog and almost fits in my pocket.
when something fails to perform to expectations, or fails to function at all. or, just plain sucks!
my phone is about to drop a call “alex, hold on, my phone is nextellin”. look at that p o s car, it’s so nextel.
the mack pimp of cell phone providers. often accused of having huge phones even though that is no longer true.
homs – i haven’t gotten my nextel yet.

joms – wow, your life sucks.
nextel is a cellular service provider long known as being either loved or hated. they are the originator of the half-duplex “direct-connect” cellular service that seems to draw equal amounts of admiration and scorn. the half-duplex direct-connect was pioneered as an efficient way of saving significant amounts of telecommunications bandwidth by allowing data transfer to occur in bandwidth segments that normally go unused in a full-duplex connection. thus nextel subscribers have the option of chirping instead of calling to save money.

nextel is also known for their robust line of motorola cellular products that seem impervious to any and all damage and neglect by their owners. nextel has gained great notoriety in offering some of the most indestructible phones on the market today, with some models featuring water-resistance. although some do criticize them for their added bulk in comparison to smaller, yet more fragile, products on the market.

contractors and construction workers typically enjoy the aforementioned direct-connect feature as it allows them to engage in hastened conversations to obtain necessary information without having to endure the customary pleasantries common in normal telephone conversations.

other people tend to hate direct-connect, seeing it as a modernized form of p-ssing verbal notes through cl-ss in elementary school. the fact that the direct-connect feature causes immediate voice transmission at the destination of the signal causes further complications with use. if a transmitter were to send a message to a direct-connect receiver at an inopportune moment, it very well has the ability to become a serious boon to the receiver. one can imagine the stark differences in implications of a cellular phone accidentally ringing during a meeting compared to someone shouting an unexpected inane blabbering while in a professional workplace setting. because of this, most nextel users limit the use of direct-connect to only close friends, family, and -ssociates as it is gravely annoying when the wrong person “chirps” you at the wrong time and place.

although nextel is not the ideal service provider for all, they have succeeded in becoming the industry leader in certain demographics of cellular subscribers.
friend: dude,remember you threw that nextel i550 out of your car window while driving and it still worked.

me: yeah, that thing was idestructible. i’ve got the i730 now.

friend: d-mn dude, you’ve had that i730 forever now. didn’t they quit making it like years ago???

me: yeah, this is my favorite phone. i wanted one when it came out in 2003, but didn’t get one until i replaced my i1000+ in 2005.

friend: what happened to your i1000+?

me: some jack-ss stole it from me when i accidentally left it on one of the shelves of the liquor department at costco for five minutes.

the guy that stole it from me dialed a dozen long-distance calls before i could deactivate the phone.

friend: d-mn!

me: word, now i’ve been sporting the i730 ever since.
the businessman’s phone.

offers functional “tough phones,” as opposed to the traditional “pretty and cute” phones.

useless unless used by a businessman or professional. useful for one who gets a lot of phone calls.
the boss carries a nextel i930. his employee carries tmobile mp3 razr phone, with bluetooth.
a cell phone, and cell phone service designed for the pathetic and worthless jerkoffs who think that they are living in some kind of fast and the furious alter reality, driving around “tricked out” civics as well as other rolling sh-tboxes they bought with thousands of dollars their parents gave them that they could have used to purchase a car of taste that didn’t need $14,000 just so it could keep up with a stock mustang.

an obnoxious phone for obnoxious people, but at least we can all rest easy knowing that they are getting screwed up the -ss with their overpriced payment plans and tacked on fees for little to no service.

see: excrement worthless compensation
me: “i just got this new verizon phone and i have great service whenever i need it.”

nextel user: “one sec….” -beep beep- “” “what??”
that bleep bleep noise
“yo john just bleeped me”