Nic-Nac-Paddy-Wack

an older irish woman from the housing projects of boston.usually the projects in south boston or dorchester. who collects cheaply made figurines ,usually purchased from the dollar store or given to her by deadbeat kids.~ for example; badly made copies of hummels and “irish crystal” (made in the philipines) animals. often found in these collections are sloppily painted ceramic angels usually bought at the local catholic church bazaar and the inevitable plaque which reads “kiss me im irish”
shannon: “hey kelley, i was just ovah aunt mary’s house and i tripped on the extension cord that she has plugged into the empty apahtment next door, and i fell into that curio cabinet that she got out of that guys parking sp-ce that he shoveled out during the blizzard of 78. when i fell i grabbed the the front of the curio cabinet and it fell over and all the gl-ss shelves slid out and everything crashed onto the floor.the only thing that didnt break was a statue of the virgin mary. she said oh well g-d works in mysteriouse ways.i felt like saying maybe g-d dosent like cheap chinese cr-p but i didnt. well she started to cry and she said that i must think shes crazy.i just said you aint crazy aunt mary,your just nic-nac-paddy-wack and she got mad and said shed send whitey bulger after me.i said id call the fbi and collect the million dollar reward and she laughed and said i better give her enough to replace her junk.i said i think i have some change here and she hit me with her brush on my head and told me to make her a cup of coffee. four sugars no cream and 3 capfuls of jameson.she was wicked buzzed and fell asleep listening to some catholic priest singing on the religious channel. he creeped me out so i left. can i borrow your broom and dustpan kelley?