Ninja Battle Pirate
a t-tle bestowed upon one lucky enough to have been accepted into the most powerful society in the universe.
a ninja battle pirate (or nbp) is a combination of the stealth and cunning of a ninja and the bloodthirsty savagery of a pirate. founded by the almighty zik synis, the secretive society is structured around a caste system, of which their are several cl-sses:
overlord: zik synis
suck monkeys: anyone who is not overlord
it should be noted that anyone not a member of the nbp affiliation is referred to as a ‘tw-tflap’.
within the exclusive nbp affiliation, there are several denominations, all of which stem from the founding chapter, ‘supernus’. the most noteable denominations include ‘the brain stabbers’, ‘the throat stompers’, and ‘the ultra killers’.
the nbp affiliation works seperately that all political parties and organizations, due to the fact that they aren’t p-ss-es or sell-outs. while they are indeed trained in the arts of ninjascilation, piration, and killery, each denomination requires a specific specialty in its members, such as videogameometry, sugarconsumptionitery, and alienkillerogredy. these are just a few of the many, many specializations availale to members of the nbpa (ninja battle pirate -ssosiation).
now, you may be wondering, ‘how do i join this unstoppable elite force of ninja battle pirates, who could school my -ss at everything so fast that i wouldn’t have time to sh-t myself?’ sadly, you cannot join without being recruited by overlord synis’ decree. the only other way to join this guild of the gods is to be born into it. on the day of each infants birth, a number is branded onto the back of the baby’s hand. the number is given to the parents, who wait at a river bank, while upstream their newborn infants are tossed into the stream. if they somehow miraculously survive the piranahs, alligators, and depth charges, they are then retrieved and cast in once more, just to make sure. if the baby survives this test, he is removed from his parents care and places in an elite training facility, where subjects are allowed to eat once every three days and spend the rest of their time training to become an officially recognized member of the nbpa.
each nbp is allowed to chose which denomination to join, or whether to remain a pure nbp, and exist directly under overlord synis’ command.
for more information on overlord synis, see zik synis.
d-mn, that ninja battle pirate just schooled my -ss at everything before i even had a chance to sh-t myself!
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