Noob’s Opening
a chess opening using by noobs/newbs etc who think they know how to play the game, but actually lack the fundemental understanding and intelligence necessary for chess. the opening consists of:
1. e4 e5
2. qh5 …
at which poing if white is allowed to take the black e5 p-wn with the q it is a very strong position for him, especially as it comes with check. this is known as the noob opening position. however, black simply plays:
…nc6
to guard the p-wn. the typical noob will then play:
3. bc4
with a threat of check mate with qxf7. however, black then plays:
…g6
after which the noob will play:
4. qf3
this is the uber-noob’s opening position. after black’s next move of:
…nf6
white’s “attack” is over and black has an enormous lead in development.
so in summary, the noob believes he is going to get a fast check-mate with qxf7, but any black player worth their while will quicky avoid this and gain an enormous lead in piece development and in most cases will force the white q all the way back to its starting square: hence a complete waste of time.
the noob’s opening is typically played by gobby teenage chess players who will talk trash during the game to try and distract the other player.
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