noobsauce

the purest compound of noob, or more definitively, the simplest form of noob. the noob molecule consists of carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and t-tanium. it is very unstable, can be found in all three states of matter (solid, liquid, and gas) on earth, and is usually saturated.

to be less specific in chemical makeup, noobsauce consists of two major ingredients: noob and sauce.

the noob is a lonely creature that roams the internet searching for an answer but often only finds people against him in his journey to find the truth. many noobs grow out of their state to become noobhaters themselves, but the process of maturity is long and arduous.

sauce is a key ingredient in almost every living substance. some believe that the term sauce is too unspecific, and that there are many different types of sauce. while this is true, sauce in its most basic form is no type of sauce at all. in fact, tomato sauce, like noobsauce, is made of two very different bases: tomato and sauce. sauce can be combined with almost anything, and, for the purpose of this definition, sauce bonds with the purest essence of noob to create the compound that we today know as noobsauce.

the origin of noobsauce is unknown, but most likely was a joint creation between the vast amount of users of the world wide web. according to currently accepted theories, these intelligent pioneers of science experimented with the noob compound and accidently came across this substance. they found its characteristics remarkably interesting and continued to experiment.

today, thanks to these brilliant engineers, many variations of noobsauce can be found across the world. noobsauce varies based upon the geographical locations where it is found. american noobsauce has a rather derogatory meaning, whereas the chinese version of noobsauce can be used to sell online gaming items over internet trading posts such as ebay. these chinese noobs have become some of the wealthiest people of their country.

the ant-thesis of noobsauce is awesomesauce, which of course consists of awesome and sauce. the awesome compound is very similar to that of the noob. like the noob compound, it consists of carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen, but t-tanium is replaced by argon. combining noobsauce and awesomesauce results in a similar situation as combining a base and an acid: they are each neutralized, the sauce -ssimilating into its original form, and, when awesome and noob bond, matter itself implodes only to erase this impossible combination of elements from existence.

in conclusion, noobsauce is a very fragile substance and should not be tampered with lest it contaminate the other substances around it. too much exposure to noobsauce can result in deforming effects to those exposed.

side effects may include whining, asking too many questions, and using numbers in the place of letters in words where they should not be used (for instance typing n00b54uc3 instead of noobsauce).

(slang) to be covered in noobsauce – v. tr.
1. the act of being infected with the noobsauce compound.
2. the illusion of being infected with the noobsauce compound.
last night dr. strangelove experimented with noobsauce in an attempt to infect soviet militants only to find himself infected this morning.

“hey man, you’re covered in noobsauce!”
“no way, you’re covered in noobsauce!”

“last night i went to manchuwok for dinner and poured an entire tray of noobsauce all over me. now i can’t even find my way around world of warcraft.”
the act of being a total noob used for 1337speak community on such games as counterstrike, warcraft 3 or diablo2
omg j00 are teh noobsauce!
a delicious sauce made from the skin and souls of ignorant players of mmorpg’s & online fps’. it’s extremely good with breadsticks and for added spice you can throw an orphan or two into the mix, but be sure to take off their shoes because… well think; eggsh-ll, only with laces.
idiot #1: i have a white item! i pwnzer you f-ckin nubs!
intelligently humble person: -ponder- found more ingredients the noob sauce john! bring the truck back!
idiot #2: pfft you loser -to idiot #1- i f-ckin pwnzer you with my pistol whip!
intelligently humble person: john, we may need more than one truck.
a person who is inclined to be, was caught in the act of or is currently representing their self as a complete and utter douchebag by virtue of a blatant, ridiculous, and near-impossible level of toothless, ignorance.
1) “on the contrary noobsauce, web t.v. sucks my b-lls!”

2) “sure noobsauce, as a technical support monkey helping you over the phone, i can certainly see what you are doing on your computer from my computer.”
being totaly new at somthing and being really bad at it too
i faced this one noob in paintball and i totaly wasted him.. but it was f-cken funny when he started to cry. he was a noob beyond noob…..he was noob sauce
1. one who is an extreme noob
2. one who sucks at halo.
(often related to andrew nagle)
d-mn, andrew bagle is being a total noobsauce today.

nagle sucks at halo, what a noobsauce.
noun. the theoretical excrement that is expelled from one who is not skilled at a particular activity or game and is subsequently beaten handily due to the aforementioned lack of ability.

may also be used a way of describing one who is inferior, juvenile, or otherwise pathetic.

most commonly used in the video game world as an expression of substandard performance.
i beat aaron and jon so badly at hockey today that there was noob sauce all over the rink and it clogged the zamboni.

i just pwnd that pathetic noob sauce at halo.

my 5 year-old brother is such a noob sauce, he drank windex thinking it was blue huggie.

a wendy’s drive through is not an appropriate place to find noob sauce.

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