North American River Chicken
a white parasitic bird that supposedly originated by the sea but is now more commonly found roosting at mcdonald’s awaiting a discarded french fry or clamoring with its pals in a taco bell dumpster; a ‘seagull’.
while widely regarded as harmless, these birds are known to be dangerous and attack unsuspecting fast food chain customers in large groups known as “militias”.
carla: yeah, lemme get a #4 biggie-sized, a #2 –f-ck!
drive thru boy: …ma’am?
carla: g-dd-mn north american river chickens just cr-pped all over my car!
911 operator: sir, what seems to be the problem?
raould: the f-cking north american river chicken militia just jumped my -ss at the drive thru! yeah, take the godd-mn ketchup packets too you free-loading b-st-rds!
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