North Dakotan Fuckin Bullshit
everything sh-tty about north dakota — which is everything.
some examples include:
-p-ssive aggressiveness—
-tourist attractions mean that there is a larger than normal rock to look at, maybe some buffalo
-everyone drives literally 10 miles under the speed limit
-everyone thinks that they know everything because “their uncle dale read about it in a book somewhere”
-everyone is related to each other, but they’ll still try to f-ck each other, exclusively
-where “marijuana cigarettes” are a felony, but sure, go ahead, f-ck your sister
– where drake is considered “negro b-mps” by the locals. if anyone is playing anything harder than drake, the police are called
-it’s flat
ex. 1: north dakota is one of the icyest places in the contiguous united states. better throw some dirt on it & not put any road salt down!
dave: d-mn! that’s some f-cking north dakotan f-ckin bullsh-t!
ex. 2:
jerome: hey susie, wanna hangout?
susie: no, my stomach hurts
-proceeds to post a million snap stories of “chillin with my bestie!!! lol xoxoxoxoxoxox” –
jerome: wow, couldn’t you have just been straight up? f-cking north dakotan f-ckin bullsh-t
ex. 3: north dakotan driver pulls up to a left turn yield on green, and decides to wait 2 light cycles before turning, because the cars that are traveling at 25 mph are traveling “too fast” and there was “no time” to turn.
chad: are you f-cking serious? that’s actually some north dakotan f-ckin bullsh-t right there
ex. 4:
richard: hey, i was just wondering if i could get some help on some math homework today?
– two days p-ss –
maggie: oh sorry, i was at work!
richard: wow….the least you could’ve done was say you didn’t know. that’s the epitome of north dakotan f-ckin bullsh-t right there
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