nurse
a health care professional who has been educated and trained to care for the sick, in hospitals, or other health facilities.
nurses are -ssigned to patients in hospitals and look after their physical health (disease prevention and treatment) as well as their emotional and mental health.
registered nurse (rn): attended university for three years
(not be comfused with enrolled nurse] or -ssistant in nursing)
the registered nurse studied at university for three years
the nurse administered the injection to the patient
the hottest, s-xiest, most desirable of all the possible fantasies involving a woman. there is nothing more kinky than the thought of a stunning girl in a short nurses uniform coming to check up on you every 15 minutes and performing your every whim. brilliant.
matt: ‘what do you think of rachael?’
jim: ‘she’s a nurse, i’d give my right nut for her in that uniform.’
to hold on to the same beer all night and drink it very slowly, if at all. can also describe a person who does this often. frequent nursing has been scientifically linked to membership in the babysitters club.
ray: “my brother’s going to school to be a chef.”
jay: “duuuuude that is soooooo laaaaame! cooking is for girls, man. he must be gay or something.”
ray: “shut up, man. you shouldn’t be talking. it’s better than being a nurse like you.”
jay: “what do you mean, dude? i ain’t no b-tch–ss nurse.”
ray: “h-ll yeah you are…you’ve been holding onto that same beer ever since you got here! want me to get you a sippy cup for that thing?”
1. someone who makes a sh-tload of money in the health care industry and knows an insane amount of biology, pharmacology, and f-cked up radiation spewing, dye-injecting, fluoroscopic, x-ray projecting diagnostic tools.
2. hardcore. not like mrs. forman in that 70s show.
3. a baller
4. a healthcare professional who works in a m-ssive industrial edifice which houses tons of really sick and dying people, scary loud radiation machines, roomfuls of needles, tubes, and bandages, and has a creepy smell. they are usually short-staffed, really sressed out, and are consequently some tough dudes and b-tches.
1. in this sh-t economy i had so much trouble finding a decent job for my over-educated, under-skilled -ss. but now that i’m a nurse i’m makin paper. and i can talk a b-tch under the table about bio.
2. nurses always tell me how they went through school with 2 kids so i should be able to. but f-ck that cause they barely even knew what dna was back then. the circulatory system is easy. you should see the sh-t we need to know now.
3. b-tch please, i’m 23 and i just bought a house. i’m a nurse.
4. i don’t know how you can work in a hospital. they are nasty and they scare the sh-t out of me. and produce an insane amount of industrial waste. gross.
” the most trusted professional”
nurse:
the person that just got paid 30 dollars to save your life,
the person that put those bruises on your chest 5 minutes before you opened your eyes, took your first breath and complained about the bruise on your chest.
the person that stuck your vein with that terrible stuff that burns when you were blue and not breathing.
the person that went 15 hours with no food, rest or toileting to fluff your pillows.
the person that is there to save your -ss, not kiss it.
the most unappreciated professional
1. (n) a healthcare professional. 2. (n) an indefinitely short-staffed career. 3. (n) the best career in the world!
he got a job as a nurse to take care of people.
healthcare professional belonging to one of the most trusted and seemingly underappreciated professions. hospitals wouldn’t run without them. if there were no nurses, many people would die. the nurse is an expert manager. nurses have to deal with pharmacy, radiology, medicine, or, the lab, and other nurses. nurses put up with a lot. nurses are smart and have to think critically. the nurse will -ssess your health and report changes to your doctor. the nurse will draw your labs and monitor the results. the nurse will also keep an eye on your vital signs and watch for subtle changes that may indicate a change in health status. the nurse will give you medications, know when to not give you medications, and know which medications to ask to doctor to order for you. the nurse will make sure you are safe and get better. nurses will sit with you and really listen. they will laugh with you, cry with you, and hug you. the nurse is the ultimate patient advocate. nurses teach their patients how to live healthier. when things start going down the drain, the nurse is usually the first to pick up on it and intervene.
“i can’t breathe! call the nurse!”
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