Obon

an authority figure with excessively large body proportions. its gender is not known. its main diet includes cheeses of any sort,(ex. parmigiano reggiano, provelone, pecorino, etc.) cured meats of the fatty variety,(ex. prosciuto parma, soppressata, capicollo, etc.) and anything else, edible or non-edible, that can be forced down its throat. its main habitat is its own room, which it has coated in a thick layer of extra-virgin olive oil to ease movement. its main mode of transportation is to lie flat on its stomach and slide about in a penguin-like fashion. its immense size acts as a barrier between it and looking like a regular human being from which it has mutated. its sole purpose in life is to demoralize adolescent humans and to destroy any self esteem that that may exist in an individual. its main offences are brutally dry sarcasm and condescendence. it is a repulsive species, and would never be desirable to have in one’s company.
oh my god! that lady is huge! i hope she’s like my grandma and not an obon.
what an obon. i pity the fools that actually have to interact with her regularly.
leave me alone mom! stop being an obon.