Offensephobe
noun. an individual who is preoccupied with causing offense. an individual who punctuates their speech excessively and often needlessly with the words “no offense”. an individual who uses these words at inappropriate moments. an individual who takes extreme and often times annoying measures to ensure that he or she is not causing anybody offense.
waiter: “sir, are you enjoying your steak”?
customer: “yes, it’s delightful. the flavors work so well together! and that white wine i picked was nice, but no offense i think i’d like to try some red now”.
waiter: wtf?
cashier: “your total is $75.44 maam”.
customer: “here you are. uhhh no offense, but if those britches don’t fit my husband, may i exchange them”?
cashier: wtf?
when pedro forgot his backpack inside his home and made the bus driver wait 2 minutes for him, he apologized 5 times, promised to change the vehicles oil, and brought the driver his mother’s homemade churros the next day. pedro is a real offensephobe.
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