one upper

an annoying person who responds to hearing someone else’s experience or problem by immediately telling a similar story about themselves with a much more fantastic (or terrible) outcome.
person: i got to meet james hetfield before the concert and i got his autograph.
one upper: yeah, well my cousin knows the head of security for metallica, and he got us front row tickets to the show and then we went backstage and met the whole group. then they invited us back to their hotel room and we partied with them all night.

person: i have a a dislocated knee.
one upper: yeah, well last summer i broke my leg in four places and had to have a steel pin inserted. i also had to have surgery done on my knee to repair the torn ligaments. i was on crutches for almost two months.
a one-upper who always has to be bigger or better than you. if your uncle has 20 ft. boat, his uncle or cousin has 21 ft. boat. a one-upper never loses in the world of story-telling.
chris is a nice guy, but he’s a big one-upper. he always follows my stories with a better one!
a one upper is one who feels like they need to be better than everyone else, so they constantly “one-up” anything that anyone says.
chad: dude, i got a v-6 mustang today, its lime green!
todd: oh, but i just got a roush ‘stang with a supercharger thats laying down 400 to the wheels dawg.
chad: -_- (gee what a one upper)
someone who needs to make themself feel better by making themself seem greater than everyone else

someone who thinks they know everything, everyone, and has done everything you do, but better

-adrian cleek of dallas texas
-guy 1 “i built a robotic roach the other day, look,”
-adrian “so what, my cl-ss won a battle bots tourny because of my ideas on how to build it.”

-guy 1 “what is heat lightning again?”
-adrian “heat lightning is made when ice particles in the clouds rub together, then the friction it makes creates a lightning bolt”
-teacher “it’s a normal lightning bolt, but instead its red, and makes no sound…adrian, dont try to be a one upper.”
if you have had a bad day, a one-upper has had the absolute worst day of their entire life and possibly the worst in recorded history. if you met a hot guy on vacation, the one-upper banged brad pitt on vacation. if your brother bought you a really cool new cd for your birthday, the one-upper’s brother is g-d. the one-upper is the most obnoxious and hateable person you have ever met, but they are probably proud that they have one-upped everyone else you ever thought you hated.
i found twenty dollars in the street the other day and i was feeling pretty lucky, until that accursed one-upper told everybody that on that very day he discovered donald trump was his uncle. g-d, i hate that guy.
a person who always has a better story. if you killed six goats, he or she killed 23. most of the time they will get angry because you told a story about only killing 6 goats.
person 1: wow, this is a nice view. how much land do you own?

person 2: umm, i think about 69 acres.

person 3(one upper): you own 69 acres!?!?!?! my uncle owns 178!!
a person that “knows” about everything. this person has done everything you wish you had. if you saw it on television last night, he did it for a family vacation 2 years ago.
jon: i had the best bbq chicken last night.

one upper: ya, i have the best bbq sauce recipe ever. i won an award for it at the fair a couple of years ago.

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