Pastard
an overly preachy -sshole
“i’m better than you!”
“man that guy is a pastard”
1. a pastor that is a b-st-rd. i.e. pastard.
2. any pastor that tries too hard, is too young or goes door to door trying to convince you that there’s an invisible man in the sky that talks to him.
3. all pastors, ministers, preachers, religious solicitors, clergy, people of the ‘cloth’ and deacons. (and anyone who got an online clergy card and uses it)
bill: “that church dude really needs to cut his hair. he’s a real pastard.”
jesus: “yeah, it’s freaking me out, dude.”
bill: “woah! where are your sandals?”
jesus: “lol, i think that pastard stole them!”
it is said of a certain kind of flatmate that, when it comes to cooking, always resorts to the same old, readymade and frustratingly uninspiring pasta dish.
flatmate 1: ohh, tonight rob’s making dinner! i’m sure he won’t let us down. he really has a gift for cooking.
flatmate 2: are you joking?? he’s a f-cking pastard!! he always prepares the same bolognese spaghetti using the cheapest pesto sauce in the supermarket!
a sc-mbag who brings up negatives from your past to pull you down or belittle you.
note: ben has nothing against gays
bill: (argument)
ben: (counter-argument)
bill: at least i didn’t f-ck a guy!
ben: but, that was ages ago.
bill: you still did it.
ben: sure you hang out with gay guys.
bill: i don’t f-ck them though.
ben: you just can’t accept my argument, pastard… >.< {pɑːstɜː(ɹ)d}; noun. (past + b-st-rd) 1. a retroactive insult for a person who was a b-st-rd in history. 2. an insult towards time-travellers who currently reside in the past. "wait, so that t-800 we sent to destroy humanity was turned to the human side, sent back in time and saved jon connor from our newest time-traveling robot -ss-ssin? what a pastard."
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