pebble dash

the effect of the violent purging of liquid sh-t from the back p-ssage, which leaves a ‘splattering’ of cr-p on the back of the toilet bowl, not dissimilar from a type of exterior wall coating.

for maximum effect the ‘pebble dasher’ requires a significant amount of ‘wind’ in their system and must strain hard whilst simultaneous holding their ring piece closed (with hands if required). once enough pressure has built up the opening of the ring piece will allow the pebble dashing to occur.

pebble dashers should note that one school of thought maintains that given extreme straining, the material exiting the rear can potentially achieve super sonic velocities, momentarily creating a shock wave that can tear the ring piece. their advice is therefore not to strain too hard!
i never pebble dash at home, only in mates houses…..and then leave it!
when you have explosive sh-t that leaves the toilet bowl smattered with little bits of sh-t. sometimes the odd bit of sweetcorn.
dude the cleaner is gonna get well p-ssed when she sees how i pebbledashed the bog
a rare sh-t that leaves the -rs- with great force, and appears to break up on contact with the air.
the fragments of sh-t (or pebbles) hit the porcelain and shatter like brown paintb-lls, virtually covering the bowl save for little sp-ces inbetween.
the resulting effect, if done right, resembles a late 20th century british, pebbledashed house.
greg: dude, check this out, i just pebbledashed your loo.

dave: aw f-ck you man, i aint cleaning that up.

greg: yes you are. b-tch.
the kind of diorreah that explodes out of your -rs- and sprays the toilet bowl.
mickey pebble dashed the toilet!
the effect left on a toilet bowl after a wind–ssisted cr-p. its usually the result of drinking too much or eating too spicy food.
you must be p-ssing a soft type of stool to start with, then if you happen to break wind towards the end of the cr-p, the soft stool is seperated as its leaving your -n-s, into very small pieces (between the size of a pin-head and a garden pea i would say)with the wind your p-ssing too.
the result is the aforementioned brown specs , adhere themselves to the toilet bowl and rim in a random pattern that resembles the style of finish found on many british buildings built between 1930 and 1970.
pebbledashing is best carried out in other toilets rather than your own , unless of course you employ a house-maid/cleaner to clean your loo.
pebbledashing at friends houses is a quick way to loose friends.
my 3 favourite pebbledash locations.
1/ at work.because some-one else is paid to clean the toilets,so i see it as job creation.

2/ in higher cl-ss hotels.i try to be in the room when the housekeeping staff come in.i like to watch chambermaids having to smile&look like they are enjoying their work,due to the high hotel prices,then see them go in the ensuite bathroom to spruce it up&change the towels.their faces change when they see the heavily splattered toilet as they know they’re going to be cleaning it! its even better if there’s a toilet brush provided but obviously not used, because that says:-
i’m proud of what i’ve done,its your job to clean the lavvy&not the paying guests! i’ve found older maids are ok about it (they probably have husbands who do the same at home),but some of the younger ones really dislike cleaning the lavvy after i’ve just had a good “turn-out” in it.

3/ at home on a friday morning. our cleaner comes in then,so to ensure she’s doing her job,i like to give the toilet in the main bathroom a pebbledashing. if i’m not able to pebbledash,i wriggle my -rs- to the rear of the hole in the seat, lean forward slightly and release a huge cr-p all down the back and sides of the bowl. she never dissapoints though&when i return home at night, the whole house is immaculate and all the toilets are gleaming white porcelein, not a skid-mark or bit of pebbledash in sight
when one has extremely runny diareha and it splatters all over the toilet giving a pebble dash effect
cor man i pebble dashed the pan last night
the effect left on a toilet bowl after having a runny sh-t in it.
small specs of sh-t are left all over the rear of the toilet. some will disappear when the toilet is flushed, the more stubborn ones will stay on the porcelain as of course will all those specs that you’ve managed to splatter around the top rim above the flushing jets.
an extreme example of a good pebbledashing is when the brown specs fly under the toilet seat. this looks spectacular as the underside of the seat and the top section of the rear of the lavvy can also be splattered.
i find sitting as far back as possible on the seat&leaning forward helps blast it down the back of the bowl&all over the rim.
chambermaids in hotels find the practice of “pebbledashing” quite disgusting. on more than one occ-ssion i have heard them say the words “dirty b-st-rd” as they have gone into the ensuite bathroom and seen the state i have left the lavvy in after my morning cr-p

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