pedophile mile
any town or area with a larger than normal population of pedophiles. in other words “creep central” or “where uncle mark touched me”. there are a few defining characteristics of a pedophile mile that distinguishes it from other suburban areas.
1. an excess of white vans and / or ice cream trucks parked in nearly every driveway.
2. an abnormal amount of shady characters, specifically ones over 40, possibly with small children.
3. if you walk down the street and a random man with a lisp asked to see your no-no area, you are probably in the pedophile mile.
4. last but not least if you see john mccain on any of the porches, run. this is most definitely a pedophile mile.
tim: “dude you took the long way home? arent there a sh-tload of creepy old people?”
john: “fer sure man, its the pedophile mile down there. im lucky to have made it out with my -n-s intact.”
tim: “no doubt. say doesn’t your grampa live down there?”
john: “-shudder- dont mention his name… i still have flashbacks.”
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