phanwank


an eljay community for phantom of the opera fans—excuse me, phans. the group, which is entirely composed of women (since the majority of hetero men avoid all reference to the phantom of the opera like the pox), obtains great lulz by seeking out “badphic”—that is, bad phantom fanfiction—and subsequently mocking it in their intarwebz stronghold. this process more often than not involves “w-nking”—not, as one might -ssume, the act of spanking one’s monkey; but of adding comments in bold throughout the entirity of the badphic. these additions are typically quite humorous, unless one of teh uncool fancies herself capable of satire. the ensuing results are quite often disastrous and cause the readers’ roflcopter to crash. but, a roflcopter crash would be very frequently preferable to the effects of the unadulterated reading of a genuine badphic: in such situations, the brain bleach must be pulled forth and the unfortunate victim’s neurological cells must be scrubbed clean. one by one. in conclusion: trust the phanw-nkers to do the dirty work. that’s their area of expertise.

phanw-nkers have a proverbial menagerie of inside jokes (it’s bordering the line of a secret language) that can be quite frustrating to those who are cool enough to not know inside phantom of the opera jokes. i would gladly list a few notable instances here, but i don’t feel like being hunted down and brutally slaughtered by a horde of teenage girls enraged by my revelations about their secret society.
13-year-old sm-tfic writer: liek, omf-g, these stoopid b-tchez on this gaytarded lj totully killed my masterpeece “twisted dark roses of anguish and love immortal that never dies!!! review plz! kthnxbai!!1!eleventy!

reader: …

phanw-nker: how about blueflamewolf just wrecked roule’s ingenious plane to go with that whaaambulance?

13-year-old sm-tfic writer: i am making u jellus @ j00!

phanw-nker: b-tch plz.

Read Also:

  • discomrobulated

    the state of befuddlement resulting from looking at, listening to, thinking about or discussing the hotness that is robert pattinson. that photo of edward cullen with his shirt off left me completely discomrobulated.

  • Pharaoh Fuck

    in bdsm, the ultimate power-trip s-xual position for the alpha male. named after the egyptian pharaohs, who were worshipped as livings gods, and also because of the triangle shape of the s-xual position; the top of the pyramid being the leading man’s p-n-s. the position requires 4 people – an alpha male, a submissive girl, […]

  • phili fake out

    while f-cking a girl from behind, spit on her back and tell her that your done. when she turns around, proceed to w-nk it and nut in her eye. the phili fake out often leads to a mild to serious case of glaucoma. since sally didn’t like taking my juice in her mouth, i decided […]

  • Philly Beatdown

    the act of getting your -ss beat into a nasty, messy, catastrophically bl–dy pulp by a true philadelphian. it is actually a painful honor of sorts; if you’re gonna get your -ss beat, it might as well be done by someone who can do it right. jim: yo, i woke up with two black eyes, […]

  • scuba duba

    when a male gives a female pleasure with his fingers and after his fingers smell like fish/the ocean dude his fingers are scuba duba


Disclaimer: phanwank definition / meaning should not be considered complete, up to date, and is not intended to be used in place of a visit, consultation, or advice of a legal, medical, or any other professional. All content on this website is for informational purposes only.