Pharrell Wannabe

a new ghetto phenomenon! about 70% of the black and urban kids (and black suburban kids with rich parents) on mysp-ce will appear this way:

1) dressed in any of the following attires:
a) a “vintage” (meaning it’s either from gadzooks or american outfitter)t-shirt either worn by itself or over a bright-colored polo shirt with the collars up.
b) a brightly colored polo (striped or neon) with the collars popped up.
c) about 600 different gold run dmc-style chains around their neck.
d) a multicolored trucker hat.
e) a printed scarf or kerchief around their mouth or neck.
f) tight -ss jeans (for girls tight jeans or a mini-skirt)
g) silver chains on their pants.
h) either wearing vans or those candy-colored, ugly ice creams.
i) if they’re rich, they’re wearing authentic bbc. if their poor they have on a t-shirt with the bbc logo screen-printed on the front.
j) they’re wearing (f)ape, if they’re rich…bape bought from some fly-by-night street hustler in central park. if they’re dirt poor, they’re wearing some multi-colored hoodie with fabric prints suitable for pajamas and bed sets.
k) they’re either wearing vintage gl-sses with the lens popped out or “louis vuitton” shades.

2) they stick their hands up in the notorious star trak sign.

3) they claim they are “skaters” when a month ago they thought skateboards were just for grunged white kids.

4) pharrell williams, kanye west, and lupe fiasco are the “best rappers of the 21st century” to them.

5) pharrell is the husband to all of the girls (oh, so pharrell’s a polygamist now?)

7) they own a skateboard that they never skate, but to just take a picture of it and put it up on mysp-ce claiming that “skateboarding is life”.

8) they overuse the taglines “kick, push, coastttt”, “skateboard p”, “nerd”, and “louis vuitton don”.

9) their new nicknames begin with the word “skateboard” and the first letter of their name.

10)their mysp-ce pictures are brightly colored, shot at different mysp-ce angles flaunting their ice and vans and their fingers formed in the star trak sign.

11) are self-proclaimed n-e-r-d’s…when a year ago the word “nerd” was a stigma.

12) they get between 30 to 135,567,890 comments below their pics with any of the following tags:
a) “omg! you lookin’ fresh2def!”
b) “you look like pharrell. you so s-xy!”
c) “kick, push!”
d) “your vans are the s-x.”
e) “i wanna s-x your trucker hat!”

13) you are indeed a “hater” or “loser” is you express dislike for pharrell, kanye, or lupe.

this kids are like a plagued cult of indigo children. they are humorous but at the same time creepy.
friend 1: hey look at me!!! i can skateboard! i’m like pharrell now! (kicks skateboard and starts skating). kick, push, kick, push, c— (skates into a pole and knocks their teeth out)

friend 2: man, you’re such a pharrell wannabe. you embarr-ss me.