philosophy

contrary to some of the vacuous bullsh-t you’ll find on this page, philosophy is a n-ble, no, possibly the most n-ble academic discipline one can study. sans repeating what our friend correctly said about the five major fields, i will say this: we live and die for philosophy. even if we don’t realize it, nearly everything we believe is predicated on someone’s philosophical investigations. to debase the mother of all sciences as a “waste of the taxpayer’s money” is to admit barefaced ignorance.

oh yeah, and philosophy majors score higher than any other majors on the graduate exam; mathematics students come in second. maybe they’re doing something right.

ps. i’m not a philosophy major.
do philosophy, dipsh-t.
think about it.

no,think about -> “it”
“it….think about it…
1. the major for people who value education and intelligent thought over silly matters such as getting a job.

2. the reason that one day i will live in a box, unless i buckle down and take those d-mn lsats.
homeless man: give me money!
pedestrian: hey, i recognize you! werent you an honors philosophy student at my college?
homeless man: but what does ‘recognition’ really mean? -ponders-
the highest and most n-ble academic discipline one can study.

philosophy undertakes the task of determining the fundamental nature of human existence with thorough logical -n-lysis. philosophy can be broken down into four major branches:

1. metaphysics: the study of ultimate reality
2. epistemology: the study of knowledge
3. ethics: the study of human actions and conduct
4. aesthetics: the study of art and beauty
once you study philosophy, science doesn’t seem as interesting.
the habit of continuously asking questions about every aspect of the human condition.has been known to make some of its adepts pompous and arrogant,but has also made others a little brighter than they were before.
philosophy was an integral part of his/her life.
“philosophy- a route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.” –ambrose bierce
it was late one night when i was on a road trip with my two friends, brian and laura, when we decided to pull over to the side of the road and retire.

“looks like you’ll be sleeping in the car while laura and i have the tent,” brian said.

“here’s the blanket,” he continued, “you’ll be fine with this, won’t you?”

“yeah,” i said.

“are you sure?”

“how is one sure of anything?”

“or that there is any thing to be sure of,” he added.

we both nodded, contemplating the profundity.
the love of knowledge and the love of seeking it, then producing exhaustive writings of exhausting and inept metaphors, being refuted by another philosopher’s exhausting and inept metaphors, then replying in reb-ttal to challengers, ad nauseum. while one of the most n-ble intellectual pursuits, it is also one of the most masturbatory.
summa philosophia: key figures in philosophy, summarized in 500 words or less

nietzsche = woot, but mighta had bad thoughts about family members.

socrates = straight up gangsta, dat n-gg- drank any drank put in frunna him.

plato = overrated heir apparent of socrates that screwed up science for more than a thousand years with first principles and other useless cr-p.

aristotle = reincarnated some time later into gene wilder.

aquinas = justified catholic bullsh-t from a very comfy chair.

confucius = had the same pr agent as jesus and gets all sorts of cool stuff attributed to him.

augustine = converted to christianity early enough that he was one of the religion’s editors – he gave you the g-d you “know” now by stealing heavily from plato.

descartes = brought intellectualism to new highs and degrees of convolution by rationalizing things instead of pulling new crazy sh-t out of his -ss.

kant = changed minds. no, really – he changed them from being viewed as a cup that sorta just fills up with experiences into a filter and interpreter of sensory data. a computer rather than a trashcan.

kierkegaard = brought angst to the forefront of philosophy and did ultimately dehumanizing things that lead to quantifying peoples’ lives in terms like “the average person spends 1/3rd of his life asleep” and other d-mning, mope-infested whinings about escapism and wasting time. waste of time? kierkegaard.

lao tzu = the asian sensation. tao de ching is a quick read with little novel and even useful tidbits. like a compilation of fortune cookie fortunes, but better.

john locke = shared a few basic principles with kant. the mind is a house furnished with experiences and sensory input.

karl marx = history is the record of cl-ss conflict, material interests, and the exchange and exploitation involving them. philosophy should not just interpret the world, but shape it.

pascal = somehow made the first mechanical calculator at age 15 in 1642. beat that, f-ckers. sadly, he abandoned supermathgenius for philosophy, probably shooting all of humanity in the foot in the process, but he at least contributed to scientific investigation.

spinoza = ultimately just another dude that desperately needs g-d to exist in some fashion, but wrote avidly of ethics and against traditional religious views. interest in his writing persists in modern environmentalists and ecologists.

hume = related the mind in terms of perception (impressions), processing and memory (idea). like a bunch of other dudes. it was inevitable, really, but thanks for getting your papers in on time. ;d

leibniz = desperately tried to resolve the problem of evil so that g-d could be both omnipotent and benevolent at the same time and totally looked r-t-rded for it. voltaire totally burned him in candide for it.

the ultimate lesson of philosophy that you will never find in these old dead guys’ writing is this: you utilize what is useful and discard what is not. no one has the answer and if someone somehow did, no one else would believe it or realize it. walk your own way and try not to step on other peoples’ toes. wear comfortable shoes. bring water.

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