Phlangeopygonbré
a bipodular but horrifically mutated half pig, half human. it’s existence due to an experiment conducted by toy manufacturer bandai to create a real living, breathing toy but went terribly wrong. it determines whether you are a threat based on if you act offensively or defensively. it’s only fear is the common horse upon which is the only way to defeat it. baby phlangeopygs are called phlangeopyglets, they are easily culled using the remaining box from a pepperoni pizza.
emergency 911 – “h-llo which service do you require”
baz – “i’m not sure, help me. help me. i think there’s a phlangeopygonbré in the building. send the police… no make that an ambulance too”
emergency 911 – “i’m sorry sir but what exactly is a …”
baz – “it’s coming i can hear it. it’s in the vents… oh god… -clunk, crash, bang- help me! hel… … snort snort squeal”
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