piers

translated from the latin ‘piersiosictos’ (the greek god of fish) piers can be defined as immortal, chizzled and with a big p-n-s.
jesus.. there go’s a right piers!…
bridges the gap between two opposing elements.
a pier begins on land and ends in the water; metaphysically it spans from the physical to the emotional.
a piers stratton is usually found in the wild. you must look carefully! sometimes he hides in the bushes, but sometimes he hides in the gr-ss! he wields no weapon but his stare stops all. have caution if he appears in the wild with no adult, he can be dangerous and is known as a “s-x offender” these people are not nice people, unless trained correctly. training a piers stratton is difficult but, a well behaved piers stratton is usually the result of corporal punishment, this is where force (burning, punching, kicking anything of that nature) is used to instill good ideals in him so he is a better human. some people believe that this is cruel but studies have shown that piers startton performs better at school when he is being beaten at home. if a piers stratton consumes alcohol the effects are shown are somewhat funny. he begins talking in slurs and if enough has been consumed has difficulty talking at all. this makes for some very awkward conversations. (anon: oh, hey piers piers: ……..urggg noooo)
its difficult to sum up everything that a piers stratton can do in one example but alas i will try.

me – dude, look in the bushes its a piers stratton
piers – (stares deeply for six seconds) waaaaaapaaaaapapapapa. oh heyyy laura, i thought you were someone else……
me – ohh (wtf)
piers – i would be trying to seduce you now but i was trained well!
me – well thats good i suppose (wtffff)(getting more awkward)
piers – yes……….. (drinks much alcohol)
me – are you ok piers?

piers – …………..blurglblrugl…………(begins to dribble at the mouth)……urgrgjrigr…….(f-ck me)
piers – (slowly sinks back into the bushes in shame)
1. an uncompleted bridge extending into a large body of water
2. a store at which one can purchase useless wicker decorations
3. an overly abrasive female law student with extrodiarily large blonde hair.
i was appalled by that pier.
a man who always wears the same jumpers
dude, that’s such a piers jumper.
a small yellow boy who like to suck c-ck often. his name originates from p-ss but over time the name has been mistranslated into piers, at times he can be a good friend and he will be there for you but most of the time he is a terrible friend and thinks he is better than others in maths. his name can be referred to as one of the highest insults and can be punished by death in some isolated tribes.
man 1:you’r such a piers stratton!!!
man 2:wow man fine don’t make me take my gun out! leave now
bit of a chav
likes to wear lacoste, reebok & everlast
also likes to think he can get away with it by wearing it with and abercrombie top..
omg he’s just like piers!