Pinneritis

disclaimer: names and places have been changed to protect the pinners. any reference to person(s) living or dead, is purely coincidental.

description:

acute monogenucleopinneritis, more commonly known as pinneritis, is a disease or the brain caused by kai-uwe syndrome, a rare condition whereby the patient, usually of german descent, is easily susceptible to peer-pressure and h-m-s-xual tendencies. pinneritis is characterized by little or no money management skills, drug and/or alcohol abuse, an inability to show any self-restraint or self-control, and a lack of care or consideration for others. once diagnosed patients are expected not to live any longer than 5 years, unless immediate medical attention is sought.

symptoms:

low or non-existent credit rating.
addiction to alcohol, weed, and p-rn.
maxing out your credit card and overdraft so you can buy more weed.
lying to your parents, constantly.
lying to your friends, constantly.
excessive dental work.
poor personal hygiene.
drinking and driving.
loss of drivers license, multiple times.

treatment:

if you experience any of these symptoms please contact your family doctor. pinneritis is treatable in it’s early form. a straight-forward smack upside the head, repeated if necessary, until patient loses the ability to move arms and legs. a rehabilitation center is in the midst of being developed in the little known country of poochland, situated off the coast of mexico. the center will by run by it’s founder, professor jeff “if you can roll it, smoke it” gallo, also known as professor jeebus “christ, i have no job” gallo.

history:

pinneritis was first diagnosed in may 2006.
kai-uwe “mind if i stick it in?” wolters is the first doc-mented case of pinneritis
mark: hey rob, did you hear? kai was recently diagnosed with acute pinneritis.
rob: haha, what a pooch. he’s so pinnered.