Pittsburgh Pirates

a once proud inst-tution who p-sses away a loyal following with obviously bad, money-influenced decisions.

the thrift store for all other major league baseball teams.

a monetary drain upon a city that keeps asking for more and more while continuing to offer less and less. akin to flushing one’s money down a toilet.

the response to the question: can a professional baseball team both suck and blow at the same time?

complete embar-ssment.
baseball exec: darn, i just lost my catcher for a season due to his thrid drug scandal, what should i do?
-ssistant: i’ll call the pittsburgh pirates and get their starting catcher. i have a used plymouth i know they’ll take for him.

mayor: i don’t understand what happened to all of the city’s revenue?
staff member: i believe we’ve been pittsburgh pirated, sir.

wow, last night i drank so much that i urinated in my pants, cried like a baby for hours, and then i left the bar. i think a made a complete pittsburgh pirate out of myself.
a violent s-xual act involving the thrusting of a an erect p-n-s into a partner’s open eye followed by kicking said partner’s leg in a manner severe enough to cause significant pain and/or damage, temporarily giving them the appearance of a one-eyed, peg-legged pirate.
things were going great with emily until i gave her a pittsburgh pirate. apparently most chicks aren’t willing to lose the use of their limbs or eyes for the sake of unparalleled eroticism and unprecedented s-xual gratification. women.